Beyond the Wall
by kaitlin1227
Summary: Clarke is feeling lost now that they have landed on the ground. She hides how she truly feels and tries her hardest to help with the delinquents. She lives day by day doing what she thinks is best for them but not herself. After Murphy is banished she realized that she is much more like him than she would like to admit, she's just better at hiding it. Rated M for sex and language.
1. Chapter 1

_OK! I've had this idea in my head for awhile but never got it written down but now finally the words have come to story form!_

 _This will be primarily Clarke & Murphy, not sure why but I've had this pairing in my head for awhile now even though I'm a Bellarke shipper lol... I've grown this likeliness for Murphy here lately and figured I'd play around some with him and Clarke... _

_As of right now this is all I have written which is odd for me because I usually write way in advance before I post anything, but not this time. I figured this could go as a one-shot, which would be my first or if its liked then I can write more. Just let me know what you think, if you want more let me know._

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 _This is set in season 1 and is kind of on canon with the story, if it continues not sure how on point I will keep it. Clarke will be kinda OOC as well._

 _Please review and let me know what you think! I love hearing feedback, all kinds, good & bad._

 _Oh and I'm horrible about titles so I know the name probably sucks, sorry about that._

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I've saw the way he watches me and seriously it would probably freak out any normal person but I guess it didn't bother me because I'm far from a normal person. My life was shit before we even made it to the ground and even though everyone thinks I'm a Princess, I'm far from it. The moment my dad was floated and I was thrown into solitary I turned into a different person. Was I privileged before everything happened? Maybe a little but I'm not that girl anymore. None of us are the person we were before we were locked up on The Ark.

Now I'm here with a bunch of people who pretty much hate me because they judge me for what I was like before. I only had one person here that I would have considered a friend but I lost so much time with him thinking he was the reason for my dad being floated. When Charlotte killed him, I felt another piece of myself slipping away.

I tried to do the honorable thing and attempted to protect Charlotte from Murphy and his henchmen with Bellamy but who was I kidding I wanted her to die just as much as Murphy had. And secretly I was happy when she jumped from the cliff. I knew Murphy shouldn't have been banished but if I could control my rage and hate than I didn't see any reason he couldn't. So the only possible thing to do was banish him.

I knew he never went far from camp, I always felt his eyes on me. I should have been terrified but I wasn't, not even a little. When Raven decided to make her appearance I knew I had no one anymore so I did exactly what I shouldn't. I went into the woods looking to Murphy.

The moment I saw him he went defensive immediately. I just chuckled which made him raise an eyebrow.

"What are you planning to do with that? You gonna stab me?" I asked as I walked closer to him.

"You trying to be brave Princess?" He questioned.

"Not really." I told him honestly. "Just figured I'd come out here and see what you've been up to."

Murphy just looked at me, I knew he was trying to decipher if I was telling the truth.

"You can search me if you want, I have no weapons." I told him and who was I kidding I wouldn't mind him searching me.

I've felt empty since before being thrown down to Earth, Finn helped a little but he was no better than the rest. At least Murphy was honest about everything, even if no one liked what he had to say, he didn't sugarcoat anything.

Murphy just stared at me but didn't lower the knife.

"Fuck." I hissed and then decided I'd prove to him that I wasn't concealing anything.

First I took my jacket off turning in a full circle so he could see.

"You could be hiding a knife just about anywhere, do you think I'm stupid?" Murphy obviously didn't trust me.

I gave him a mischievous smile. "Well ok let's be sure I'm not then."

I started unbuttoning my pants.

"Well the hell are you doing Clarke?" He said a little flustered.

"I'm showing you that I'm not hiding anything from you." I said as I slid my pants down my legs, kicking my shoes off as I went.

I held up my shirt, standing there in nothing but my underwear waist down. After another slow turn I pulled the shirt over my head.

Once I discarded my shirt in the pile of my other clothes I looked up at Murphy and said "you wanna pat me down now? You know just to make sure?"

I knew by the look in his eyes that me stripping down to my bra and underwear was having the effect that I hoped it would have. So I decided that even though he was still holding the knife that I would make my move. I closed the distance between us and I couldn't miss the lust in his eyes.

"What are you going to do with that?" I asked as I reached him taking the hand that was holding the knife into my hands.

He didn't say a word but just dropped the knife, let go of it without a hint of hesitation. I took a step into him and he cautiously wrapped his arms around my waist, never taking his eyes from mine. He seemed hesitant at first but when I took his hand and placed it on my ass, his whole posture changed.

Finally he took control spinning us around and slamming my back to the nearest tree, I moaned in excitement. His lips crashed into mine and I felt his erection pushing against my stomach. I grabbed at his shirt pulling it over his head. My hands fumbled as I tried to unbutton his pants so he took charge and finished the job.

Murphy stopped kissing me for a moment and took a small step back, I saw something in his eyes that I wasn't liking very much, guilt.

"I swear if you don't finish this I will pick up that knife and stab you." I wasn't playing around I needed a release and I wasn't about to let him do the right thing now.

He seemed like he was debating what to do next but when I was pushed up against the tree again I felt victorious. I pulled my bra over my head between our kisses the moment my breasts were free Murphy began sucking on them. My hands went straight to his hair, not caring if I was pulling to hard but he never complained so my guess was he was enjoying it just as much as I was.

As soon as the last bits of clothing were thrown to the ground he pulled me up and I wrapped my legs around his torso. He didn't take it easy with me which was exactly what I wanted, as he shoved himself into me I screamed his name loudly.

I had to admit having sex with Murphy was the best experience in my life, I never imagined in a million years that those words would be going through my head. Hell I never would have figured I'd be letting John Murphy fuck my brains out up against a tree, out in the woods right outside camp either.

When we were both finally coming down he slowly lowered me from the tree, my legs so wobbly I fell into him. Even after everything he just did to me he looked disgusted to be touching me, backing up almost automatically.

"You better be getting back princess before they send a search party out for you." Murphy's voice brought me back out of my head and I noticed he was already half dressed.

I looked up at the sky and realized night was setting in already and he was right they would end up sending someone out to find me and if they found Murphy this close to camp it wouldn't be good for him.

Finally I got moving and got dress quickly, without even a glance back I walked back to camp. He wasn't the only one who could act like it had been a mistake even though I knew right away that as long as he stayed close this would happen again. I couldn't help but smile as I walked back, this was exactly what I needed.

I walked through the front gate and had multiple eyes on me.

"We were about to send out a search party Princess." I looked over and saw Bellamy's smug look.

I rolled my eyes than just walked past him.

When I reached my tent my plan was to lay down but my plan changed the moment I opened it and Finn was sitting there waiting on me.

"Get out." I yelled almost immediately.

He looked at me is disgust "what if I don't? You going to get your murderous boyfriend to kick my ass?"

He looked at me one last time as he walked past me. Of course he would have followed me out to the woods. All I could think about right then is that spacewalker better keep his mouth shut. Since Murphy was banished I really wasn't sure how everyone would react if they found out that not only I knew that he had been staying right outside the walls but that I had gone outside them myself and let him fuck me senselessly.


	2. Chapter 2

_Well I decided I wanted to see where I could take this story, since I did get a review, a couple favs and a couple follows it seems like at least someone must kinda like it lol_

 _I figured I'd go to Murphy POV and maybe switch back and forth_

 _I dont know if this will have smut in every chapter but so far it has just to let you know :D never been one to write smut but it happened and I wrote it lol_

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Chapter 2

 **Murphy**

As I watched Clarke walk back to camp I was internally kicking my own ass, what the hell had just happened? Not that I wasn't happy about just getting laid or anything but it was the princess and I still wasn't completely sure how that shit just happened. When she banished me I saw the hate in her eyes and I had been watching her these last few weeks to get my revenge then she struts out here like she owns the damn place and starts stripping.

Am I really that weak, that I couldn't control myself just because she was standing in front of me pretty much naked, begging me with her eyes to take her. I'm not sure why it surprised me, the princess always gets what she wants, right? She wanted me and I gave into her like some little bitch. What's worse is the sex was amazing, not to sound like a girl but it was mind blowing.

It had been a couple days since Clarke made her appearance and I had finally got back to a point where I could think about her and I wouldn't feel the twitch in my pants. How in the hell can you hate someone so much but you can't quit imagining them naked.

I had finally started letting my guard down when I heard a twig break. I stopped moving, slowed my breathing not wanting to be discovered. Bellamy wanted me dead and I knew he wouldn't be happy if he knew I was so close to his precious camp.

"Where the hell are you?" I would recognize that annoyed voice anywhere.

I put on my best smirk and stepped out "You come back for seconds?"

Clarke just stared at me looking pissed like she always did when I came around.

"No I actually came to save your ass but if you wanna be a jackass I can walk back and let them know exactly where you are, you know save them the time of looking." She said smugly.

I didn't know what to think about her, why would she try to protect me from them?

After a few grim minutes of not speaking to each other, Clarke huffed then turned back toward camp.

"Wait." I said as I caught up to her grabbing her arm.

She pulled her arm from my grasp "Do not fucking touch me."

Wow that hurt.

She just stared at me but didn't say another word.

"Why are you here Clarke?" I finally hissed.

She diverted her eyes, looking down at the ground "Finn saw us."

Now everything was starting to make sense, her little boyfriend saw me fucking her and he wasn't very happy about it.

"Am I supposed to be expecting him sometime soon? I'd like to get this over with, the sooner the better." I shrugged my shoulders, I wasn't scared of Collins.

Clarke sighed "I wouldn't expect just him, he doesn't ever do anything on his own, he always has to have backup."

By the way she said that it was almost like she was talking about something more than me.

"Trouble in paradise already?" I chuckled even though I knew I shouldn't.

Damn if looks could kill I would definitely be dead right now because Clarke was shooting some daggers my way.

"You know what Murphy, fuck you."

"Been there done that, honestly not that memorable." I knew that was a low blow but knowing that it pissed her off was enough for me.

A moment later when she punched me straight in the face, I should have expected it but I didn't. I saw red after that, no one hits me, I don't give a damn who you are. I grabbed ahold of her and threw her down to the ground, as I sat on top of her I grabbed her wrists and pinned her down.

"I don't give a fuck what is going on with you and Collins but don't you dare lay a hand on me." I was fuming.

She smiled up at me, which was not what I expected at all.

"What is the matter with you Griffin?" I asked as I slowly raised myself off her still holding her wrists because I'll be damned before I let her hit me again.

She sat up but didn't stand, I put my hand out to her and was surprised when she actually took it, once she was on her feet she said "you need to move, I think Finn is going to tell everybody you're out here."

"Where the hell am I supposed to go?" I didn't actually expect an answer I was just frustrated.

"I actually know a place." Clarke seemed hesitant to mention it.

"Lead the way Princess." I saw the aggravation cross her face when I used the nickname, I couldn't help but grin.

I followed Clarke to the supposed place that she knew, she could be leading me into a trap right now and I'd have no idea, I'd be following her blind. I didn't like this one bit.

When she finally stopped she turned and faced me, if I was right this is a place that she didn't want to be. She took a deep breath then showed me the bunker. I followed her inside and was actually surprised with the place. It wasn't anything fancy but it was so much better than the place I had been previously staying.

"Finn found this place…" She didn't need to say anymore now I understood exactly why she hesitated to bring me here.

"You can go, if it's uncomfortable." Did I seriously just say that?

"I won't let allow the memory of him to fuck with my head, he was never important anyway just a way to pass the time." She seemed like she wanted to believe that but it was obvious that she had feeling for him.

"How about making new memories here?" What the hell did I say that for?

Her head snapped toward me and she seemed to be debating for a minute but then began stripping once again. I stood there like a fucking idiot watching her undress instead of undressing myself.

Once she was completely naked, she looked back up at me "What the fuck Murphy?"

Her words took me out of my head, so I quickly pulled my shirt over my head and took my pants and underwear off in one single swoop. I had a feeling by the way she looked at the couch that that's where she and Collins fucked so I made sure I stayed away from there. But I had her in every other inch of that bunker, screaming my name over and over.

By the time she left I honestly had no idea how she was still walking. I gave myself a figurative pat on the back for making her scream as much as I had. Once she was gone I didn't even get dressed I just laid back on the couch and passed the fuck out.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **Clarke**

 _Fuck,_ was the only word that kept going through my head the whole way back to camp. I was not supposed to mess with him again, the only reason I even went out there was to save my own skin. I knew Finn was pissed and I figured the bunker was the perfect place because if I was right this would be the last place he would look. Finn would never think that I would take him to our place.

As I slowly made my way back up to the gate, I felt multiple eyes on me and this time it made me very uncomfortable. Bellamy, Finn and many other nameless delinquents were waiting for me on the other side of the wall.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked when I met Bellamy's eyes.

"Where'd you go?" Bellamy asked obviously accusing me of something.

I looked from Bellamy to Finn. "I don't know, you tell me where I went."

Finn just glared at me.

"We have reason to believe that you've been associating with someone who was banished from this camp." Bellamy finally said.

I looked back to Bellamy "You mean Finn told you he saw me with someone outside the wall and you believed him."

"So you have not been seeing Murphy?" I saw the disgusted look in his eyes as well as all the others around me.

I laughed, I let out the loudest realest laugh I could muster. "Yea Bellamy I've been going out there and seeing the person that we banished together."

I saw the moment he started thinking he was lied to.

"Or let me give you my version of what's going on, Finn is pissed because he was caught in his lie and now that I'll have nothing to do with him, he's trying to take it out on me." I looked smugly at Finn.

"I saw you with my own two eyes, you were with him." Finn tried saying.

"Sure you did and when was this?" I knew the answer to that and once they did as well it will poke holes in his story.

"I don't know exactly when but it was a couple days ago." Finn didn't see the problem with that, not yet anyway.

Now it was Bellamy's turn to glance over at Finn, "Wait this happened a couple days ago and your only coming to us now?"

Finn's stance completely changed but he didn't say a word.

"He's been trying to get me to talk to him but I have nothing to say, I knew he was mad but I didn't think he'd do something like this." I played the innocent card well.

I knew it was wrong but Murphy hadn't done anything wrong since we banished him, he had been minding his own business out there trying to survive. I didn't want to be the reason for them finding him.

Wait… Did I seriously just defend Murphy? It may have been only in my own head but that wasn't good.

Finn knew he was defeated, he knew nothing he said would matter now.

"So why have you been going outside the wall?" Bellamy brought his attention back to me.

"To get away from him and all the stares I've got from every one of them since Raven got here." I looked behind Bellamy so he'd understand who I was talking about.

When I looked back at Finn I knew that was partially the truth, I had left camp to get away from all things associated to him.

"Can I go now?" I asked not only Bellamy but everyone else that had surrounded us.

Bellamy gave me a small nod. I walked right past Finn not even looking at him.

I was so pissed by the time I made it to my tent, I knew Finn had threatened to tell everyone but I actually hadn't thought he was going to.

A few minutes later when I heard someone approaching my tent I never figured it would have been Finn, I honestly hadn't pegged him for being that stupid.

"Can we talk?" He asked standing outside my tent.

Un-fucking-believable.

"Why would I want to talk to you after that shit you just pulled?" I was fuming.

"Let me explain." He said in a calming voice.

I stared at him for a few good seconds than stepped aside letting him enter my tent. I don't know what I was thinking.

"I'm sorry Clarke" He came right out with it. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No you shouldn't have." I repeated.

"I was jealous and worried about you, I know I'm partially to blame for you running to Murphy." He looked like he was beating himself up. "I should have told you about Raven."

"Yea you should have, I would have understood but you didn't give me that option." I sighed "I get that you never thought you'd see her again, I really do but what did you expect from me that I'd just be ok with it?"

He ran his hand through his long hair, "I messed up big time."

I nodded in agreement "the worse part about it is I would have eventually forgiven you for having a girlfriend but this… this is unforgivable, you were trying to get me banished."

Finn looked at me in shock "that wasn't my intentions."

"What do you think would have happened?" He was unbelievable "I'd be seen as a traitor if I was secretly meeting with him."

Finn met my eyes, "do you care about him?"

I laughed, why in the hell would he even ask that. "Seriously?"

"So that's a no?" I heard the hope in his voice.

I shook my head "but that changed nothing here."

He seemed to be thinking about something, he didn't say a word but finally looked back to me and nodded. Then turned around and walked out of my tent.

That was kind of strange.


	4. Chapter 4

_Heidi you may be on to something, he did seem to accept defeat awful easy didn't he?_

 _I know I have others reading, I'd love to hear what you all think as well._

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Chapter 4

 **Murphy**

It wasn't like being back at camp but having a place that wasn't the hard ground was sooo much better than I had imagined. I would have to really thank the princess for this later. I wasn't stupid I knew she didn't do this for me but fuck since I was obviously the one who was benefiting from it, she deserved to be shown just how much I appreciated it.

I smacked myself in the head, I needed to quit thinking about fucking the princess. Yea it was great sex but I knew something like this isn't meant to continue. This is one of them things that you'll regret if you overdo.

I was laying on the couch when I heard the hatch opening. Without even thinking I said "you really can't get enough of this can you?"

When there was no response I stood up and walked to the ladder, looking up at the open hatch but seeing no one.

"Hello?" I said to the empty site.

"You've got to be kidding me." As soon as I heard those words I expected problems.

"Welcome spacewalker would you like to come down?" I knew I shouldn't have been an ass but there's no other way to be, right?

When he finally walked back to the hatch, he glared down at me "get up here, were going to handle this right now."

"Whatever you say." I don't know what it was but I did exactly as he said.

Honestly what was Collins going to do?

I climbed the ladder, not knowing what to expect. When I finally reached the top he was standing a couple feet from me.

"What do you want Collins?" I asked after he just stood there staring at me.

"I want you to stay away from her." He said very seriously.

Even though I knew exactly who he was talking about I thought now was as good of time as any to fuck with him.

I smirked "you have to be a little more specific, I'm not sure which she you're referring to."

"You know exactly who I talking about." Finn was pissed "Stay away from Clarke."

"Oh her." I chuckled "I don't know if I can do that." I let out a sigh "She is a fantastic fuck and I don't think I can just give that up but you should know all about that."

CRACK

He seriously fucking hit me, that son of a bitch punched me in my fucking face.

"You're going to regret that." I spat blood from my mouth.

I dove at him but he moved at the last second which caused me to land face down in the dirt.

That son of a bitch.

He went to kick me while I was down but now it was my turn to change the way things were going. I grabbed his leg as it swung toward my face and pulled him down to the ground. He hit hard, landing on his back. I had just enough time to jump up before he was back on his feet again.

We were standing face to face.

"Why do you even care what she does? Don't you have a girlfriend?" I knew now wasn't the time to talk but I had to ask anyway.

"That's none of your concern." He hissed.

"But isn't it? You're out here trying to kick my ass because I'm fucking Clarke, right?" I took a moment to catch my breath "I'd get it if you two were still currently, you know, but you're not anymore."

"I'm trying to protect her." He said angered.

"From what? Casual sex?" I asked him trying to get him to admit why he's actually here.

"From you, you're nothing but trouble." He said like it was an insult.

"I think she knows that and she doesn't mind much." I smiled wickedly at him knowing what I was about to say next would do nothing but fuel the fire "Actually I think she enjoys it a little more, you should hear the way she screams my name when I…."

I never had time to finish before Finn came at me again but this time I was expecting it and was able to move outta the way in time. But what I hadn't expected was for him to turn right around and once again connect with my face.

"Fuck." I screamed out.

Now I was beyond pissed and I wasn't going to let Collins get out of this without a scratch on him. I moved toward him quickly this time and was able to connect to his gut, the moment he bent down I kneed him in the nose. The blood started gushing immediately.

Finn crouched down holding his nose between his fingers. "You piece of shit."

I could have went after him again but I didn't. I stood there staring at him, when he finally stood back up he just glared at me. "You know what it's not even worth it anymore."

I couldn't believe it when he actually turned around and walked away. I stared after him for a while thinking he was going to turn back around but he never did. Finally I turned around and went back to the bunker, I knew the princess thought I'd be safe here but obviously she was wrong about her lover boy not figuring it out.

I packed up what I could comfortable carry with me then decided it would be best if I found a new place to stay. Now that Finn knew I was here I couldn't take the chance that he'd go back to camp and tell Bellamy where to find me. It wasn't that I was afraid of Bellamy per say, it's just when it came to Bellamy everyone seemed to follow him.

Was I afraid of Bellamy finding out where I was, yes I was. He made it clear if I came back around camp that he with the help of the rest of the delinquents would kill me and I believe they had every intention of following through with that.

I knew it was probably a bad idea leaving so close to nightfall but I needed to be far away from this bunker and if I stayed down there through the night I might not have a chance to run come morning.


	5. Chapter 5

_Once again thank you Heidi for your review :) Your awesome._

 _Well this story has ended up being more on the actual story than I intended it to be... I'm not sure yet if I really happy with it but figured I'd post and see how well it's liked._

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Chapter 5

 **Clarke**

When Bellamy first rushed into my tent I thought it was Finn again, I almost started yelling at him until I noticed it was a frantic Bellamy looking for his little sister. Octavia hadn't been seen since earlier that day and he had already went through camp once and couldn't find her.

Even though I thought it was a waste of time I still agreed to help him find her. He thinks something is wrong but in my opinion she just needed to get away from her very overprotective big brother. I knew that no matter what I said he would still go out looking for her and honestly around here it's always better to go in groups to make sure you come back alive.

As I walked by Finn's tent he stepped out and I noticed right away he was sporting a black eye.

"What the hell happened?" I asked him.

He wouldn't meet my gaze, just chuckled and said "you should see the other guy."

He just walked ahead of me and went and stood next to Jasper.

I was standing with Jasper and Finn when we saw the funeral that the Ark was having. It was beyond a disappointment that the flares hadn't worked and they still killed hundreds of people. Raven got mouthy with Bellamy telling him how it was all his fault, but she was right, wasn't she? If he wouldn't have destroyed the radio it wouldn't have happened, the Ark would have known that Earth was survivable and that they didn't have to go through with the killings.

I was so in my own head thinking about how we could have saved all these people when I was pretty much volunteered to take Raven to the Art Supply Store to try and find a transmitter. Since Finn was needed with Bellamy and their group because he was the only tracker, that left only me who knew about the bunker.

Even though it was awkward as hell being around Raven I was glad it was me going to the bunker because I didn't know how Finn would react if he found Murphy there. Now my only task would be to somehow warn Murphy that I wasn't alone. And how the hell I'm going to do that, I have no idea.

I walked slowly trying to postpone the inevitable. When we were closing on the bunker I tried my hardest to think of any damn excuse why I wanted to go in first. After going through so much shit in my head I finally decided that no matter what I said she would get suspicious and the best way to go about the situation would be to just tell her straight up.

I stopped a couple feet before the bunker and swung around, looking Raven in the eyes. "Can you promise me what you see here will stay between us?"

Raven gave me a look that I didn't quite understand than out of nowhere she smiled and said "Of course, I get it, it's a secret."

I nodded knowing she was thinking I was talking about the bunker in general where in all actuality I was talking about what was inside the bunker.

I brushed the leaves off the hatch than took a deep breath and opened it up. The first thing I noticed was how dark it was inside, which was odd, I didn't think Murphy would be sitting down there in the dark.

As I started descending I said a little loudly "Well hopefully we'll be able to find you something here that you can use as a transmitter."

"Yea hopefully." I heard her respond from above me.

As soon as my feet landed on the ground I knew he wasn't there and by looking around it seemed like he actually hadn't been there for a while. I scratched my head, where the hell did he go. I went out of my way to get him a comfortable place to stay and he just took off without even letting me know.

"You alright?" I heard Raven's voice right behind me.

I turned around and looked at her, "yea sorry, just thinking."

By the way Raven looked at me, I knew she was thinking something completely different. Then to make things worse she found the two headed deer that Finn made me.

Shit, I hadn't even realized I left that there.

I tried to tell her the story about the deer from the first day on the ground but by looking in her eyes, she knew that something had happened between me and Finn. I honestly figured she would have known by now anyway from all the talk back at camp but no one really knew anything, it was all talk.

The trip didn't end up being a complete waste of time though, we did find a remote control car with the controller that could hopefully be used.

The way back was so much different than our trip there, Raven barley said a word to me.

Once we made it back Raven went straight to work after sometime I went to check on her but I didn't find out about her progress. Instead she learned that I had sex with Finn, she asked and I wasn't going to lie to her. She needed to know what happened so she could make a decision.

The rest of the night I couldn't sleep, I couldn't get Murphy out of my head, I couldn't get Finn out of my head and hell I couldn't even get Raven out of my head. My life had seriously become a soap opera since we landed on the ground.

I was laying in my tent, sun already risen, and sleep still hadn't come when I heard them yelling my name. I didn't know who it was at first but I ran from my tent to the gate and when I saw him my heart stopped. Finn had been stabbed.

After ordering them to get him into the dropship, Raven stopped me "Can you save him?"

I kept myself as calm as I could possibly be when I told her, "No, not me, I need my mother, I need to talk to her."

Raven was an emotional wreck "there's still no radio."

I stared straight at her and said strongly "Raven fix it. Go."

There's nothing like having the boy you love life on the line to make you work harder. I knew this would be incentive enough to make Raven get the job done.

When I finally heard the Ark respond, I felt hope for the first time in a very long time. Then when I heard my mom's voice, it made me emotional. I hadn't forgiven her for what she did but it was good to hear her voice and I knew with her help we had a good chance of saving Finn.

We had a lot of obstacles in front of us but I was able to pull it off, I was able to get the knife out of Finn and he was still alive. I heard Raven talking to my mom in the distance but I couldn't make out the words all I could see was that he was alright. I hated him for what he did to me but I knew right then that I did care for him, even though I would have preferred not to.

I never figured I'd be a part of someone being tortured but when we realized the knife was poisoned and if Finn didn't get the antidote he would die, that's exactly what I did. I allowed Bellamy to torture the grounder to save Finn. It didn't matter though because they were obviously used to being tortured because it didn't matter what he did or Raven did he still wouldn't help us. It wasn't until Octavia cut herself with the poisoned knife that he helped us.

I knew without a doubt if it wouldn't have been for Octavia he would have let Finn die. I owed his life to her.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks for the review once again Heidi! Also thanks to my new favs/follows.  
_

 _Here's the next chapter and here's Murphy!_

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Chapter 6

 **Murphy**

I should have stayed in the bunker…

I shouldn't have took off on my own…

Damn it!

It would have been better facing Bellamy and the delinquents then this. When I first stumbled across the grounders I thought they would just kill me. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I've lost track of time, I don't know how long I've been here. There's no hope for me, no one will be looking for me.

Clarke…

She would be the only one that could save me but there's no reason for her to come looking.

Would she be worried that I was gone? Would she confront Finn? Did she even know that Finn found me?

My wrists hurt from being tied to this chair, my fingers hurt from them tearing my nails off. The rest of my body just hurts, at first I attempted to keep count of how many times I was cut but sometime after 30, I lost count. Once the pain really kicked in it was too hard to concentrate on anything.

I can't say I regret what happened back at camp but I would do it differently now if I knew what the outcome would be. I'm not saying I was wrong, I would have just controlled the situation better. I was just so pissed because they were hell-bent on killing me but when they found out that it was actually Charlotte, then it was alright.

I was pulled out of my head when I heard someone coming toward me. They spoke in a different language, so I had no idea what they said to each other but two came at me at the same time both holding knives.

Fuck, this is going to hurt.

I closed my eyes and started thinking about a certain someone with blonde curly locks. Fuck, here I am probably about to die and all I can think about is the princess.

Then I felt myself being lifted from the chair which made me open my eyes back up. As soon as I realized I was no longer attached to the chair I tried to fight. And that didn't go over so good, I was so weak from blood loss I wasn't even able to get in one good punch. Before I knew it I was thrown into a cage and the door shut and locked.

The cage was better than the chair but not by much. I attempted to sit, stand, lay down but the bars were so uncomfortable it wasn't good at all. I didn't know what they wanted from me, I told them what I could, I told them everything about the 100, all about the rest of our people on the Ark, everything. I figured I'd either be released or dead by now, probably the latter though. Obviously I would have preferred the former but let's be honest here they are savage beasts and they were never going to release me.

I had now been in the cage with no contact at all for a couple days and hated not knowing what the hell was going on. When I woke up something seemed off, I didn't know what it was at first but now that I was finally awake enough to notice it was so obvious. The lock wasn't closed, that means the cage is unlocked, I didn't know how far I could get but I couldn't stay here and not try.

Quickly but quietly I put my hand through the cage and pulled the lock off the door and slowly pushed it open. It squeaked slightly but nothing to alarming. I remember the way I saw the grounders come from so I made my way that way.

When I made it to the woods I just ran, I didn't know where I was going and I honestly didn't care. Anywhere was better than here.

I remembering crossing a bridge than more woods… Falling more than I could remember. Trying to just keep my feet moving. When I saw light I knew I had made it back to camp, I didn't know what that meant exactly but being there was better than where I came from.

I hit something which made me fall then got shot at, where the hell did they get guns? I heard someone making their way to me then I just collapsed the last thing I remember hearing was a female voice say, "Murphy."

When I started to regain conciseness again I recognized I was back in the dropship. Everyone was surrounding me, not knowing what happened exactly. Then I heard Bellamy enter, shit.

When I looked up at him, I couldn't hold my attention on him my eyes went straight to the beauty who walked in right behind him. When our eyes met I had this feeling wash over me like everything was going to be ok.

It didn't even register that Finn had entered as well until Bellamy went to shoot me and he was the one to stop him. I didn't understand why he wouldn't want me dead especially when he was trying to do just that a couple days ago.

"If he was with the grounders, then he knows things, things that could help us." Finn stepped in front of the gun Bellamy had pointed at me.

Now it made sense, he was only keeping me alive now, to kill me later.

When the princess agreed with Finn it brought my attention back to her. All I could think was, _took ya long enough_.

Then she pushed her way past Bellamy and crouched in front of me, looking me over, Doctor Clarke. I hated the feeling I got when she took my hand in hers, it hurt like hell but all I could think about was the way her hand felt against mine.

Fuck, why am I thinking about sappy shit like this? I do not have a thing for Clarke Griffin.

Bellamy asked me what I told the grounders. I knew this was going to cause even more shit but I told them the truth. "Everything."

The look that Clarke gave me right then hurt like a mother fucker. But not as bad as the next comment she made, Bellamy asked what they were going to do if I refused to leave once I was better and she looked straight at me and said "Then we kill him."

I knew what we had going on was secret but I couldn't help but feel betrayed right then. I honestly didn't think she would act like that once in front of her people again.

Another spur came and I kept continuously throwing up blood. It was then that I saw the princess walk back into the dropship and she kept asking the same questions they did when they brought me in.

When Bellamy entered asking if she was ok she told him that they grounders had retaliated with biological warfare. I was their weapon. What a great way to get back into the good graces with these people. Now they'll never believe I wasn't helping the grounders.

Clarke came over to clean me up some, I tried to stop her. I didn't want her touching me, especially now that I'm sick.

As soon as Finn came rushing in things were starting to make more sense now, the way he was worried about her and the way she was looking at him. I should have known there was another reason for Finn being nice to me. He was making points with her, obviously a lot had happened in the days that I haven't seen her. She looked at him like she cared, last I knew she wasn't speaking to him but that isn't the case anymore.

When one of the fuckers who carried me in started convulsing then died it made me think this was really it. I was about to die from whatever the hell they did to me.


	7. Chapter 7

_Well since I had a couple reviews this last chapter I figured I'd go ahead and post the new one since I had it written already :)_

 _This is the first chapter that has POV's for both._

 _The beginning backtracks a little, from when Murphy first gets brought into the dropship._

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Chapter 7

 **Clarke**

I heard rumors of Murphy's return but I didn't believe it until I saw him for myself inside the dropship. I didn't know how to feel about the whole situation, he had obviously been beaten and abused but I couldn't be the one who wants him to stay, not after what Finn accused me of. When Finn speaks up against Bellamy I can't help but think it's for my benefit. I gave him a silent thank you, not sure what to think about it.

Things feel weird between me and Murphy, I don't know what to think about it.

I tended to him for a few moments then headed off, I wanted to be by myself. But instead I ran into Raven and even though I hadn't meant to get emotional over my mom I did. Once my eyes started bleeding and the ones who brought Murphy inside started getting sick I realized that Murphy might be worse than we first thought.

I rushed back over to the dropship just in time to witness him vomiting blood all over the place. I needed to know exactly what happened when he was with the grounders, we needed to know what he told them.

When Bellamy rushed in after me I told him to stay back, we couldn't afford him getting sick as well. He seemed genuinely worried that Murphy had done something to me but I assured him that wasn't the case.

I looked back at Murphy I knew he would never intentionally hurt me.

Why would I even think that? I knew Murphy well enough to know that he could and would hurt anyone if it benefitted him.

I couldn't help but get pissed at Bellamy every time he interrupted us while we were attempting to figure out exactly what happened with the grounders. I was trying to figure out some answers but all Bellamy wanted to do was place blame on Murphy.

I couldn't help but think this was my fault, if I wouldn't have went out there, if I wouldn't have forced myself onto him then he wouldn't have thought he had to take off. Did he leave because of me?

A moment later when Derek started to convulse and then died, I was finally terrified but it wasn't for myself, I was terrified of losing Murphy.

It was then that I realized that I had developed feelings for Murphy.

How the hell did that even happen? Murphy was not someone that you liked. He wasn't a good person and he didn't even pretend to be.

I couldn't help but compare him to Finn, they were the complete opposite. But maybe that's what drew me in because he wouldn't hide something just because it might hurt your feelings.

I tried to keep my mind off Murphy but since everything that's happening is because of him, unintentional yea but still because of him, it made it hard. When Connor told us that Octavia was the one who found Murphy I knew what I had to do, Bellamy was going to be pissed but it's the only option I had. I lied to him telling him she needed to join quarantine but I already had my mind set up that I was going to send her to see Lincoln, find a cure for this.

After I sent Octavia I went and crouched next to Murphy, taking the rag and trying to wash up his face some more.

He grabbed ahold of my hand, "you don't have to keep doing that."

"Yes I do, you don't want it getting infected do you?" I tried to keep my voice as professional as I possibly could.

I didn't know what to think about the way he looked at me then.

"So if I refuse to leave, will it be you who kills me?" His question took me by surprise.

"Why you planning on staying?" I tried to sound neutral.

He sighed "it's not like I'm going to make it out of this anyway, so I guess we'll never know."

"You never know, obviously you were sick before Derek and you're still alive, Octavia is out there right now finding the cure so there's a good chance you'll survive." I hadn't noticed until that moment that he was still holding onto my hand.

I turned his hand over, looking at his fingernails. I took my other hand and slowly traced lines down his hand until right before his fingernails. After tracing all five fingers I looked back to his face and he was staring intently at me.

Just to time shit perfectly Connor starting vomiting blood all over the place. I turned around and hurried to him, getting him on his side.

After taking care of him I made my way outside to see how things were going, just in time to see them bringing another victim up from the virus. Obviously the quarantine hadn't worked.

Bellamy was pissed when I had to tell him that I sent Octavia to see Lincoln but that was all short lived because before I knew it we had a lot more people infected. Which made the ones not get a little frantic. Everyone was pulling guns on each other, I knew the only way to deal with it was to take control of the situation.

I went and grabbed a gun of my own, shooting a couple rounds in the air. "This is exactly what the grounders want, don't you see that? They don't have to kill us if we kill each other first."

One of the 100 pointed a gun at me ordering me back into the dropship but to my surprise Bellamy took his gun and knocked him back with it. He looked to me "Not to state the obvious but your quarantine isn't working."

I don't remember what happened exactly after that, I just remember standing there then I was in Finn's arms. I looked at him "Let me go, I'm ok."

"No you're not." Finn sounded worried.

"Octavia will come back with a cure."

Just in time Octavia rushed in and said "there is no cure." She walked in the middle of camp "but the grounders don't use the sickness to kill."

Bellamy interrupted his sister "I warned you about seeing that grounder again."

She glared at her brother "yea well I have a warning for you to, the grounders are coming, and they're attacking at first light."

The virus was only to cripple the competition, take out the weak, it all made sense now. I didn't know what we would do but we couldn't fight like this. We had too many people sick, they would kill us all.

 **Murphy**

When I saw Finn carrying Clarke into the dropship, I felt a lump in my throat. She could not die, she was stronger than most of the people in this camp.

Finn was looking around for an open cot but when I realized there was none, I stood up offering mine to her. I was starting to feel a better and she needed it more than I did.

I heard Octavia telling Finn that the virus didn't last long so I agreed telling them "it's true, I feel better."

Clarke being Clarke kept trying to get up, to help everyone else. But it was Finn who talked her down, it was Finn who stood over her, helping her. When Octavia offered to take care of the sick delinquents I figured this was my time to show I was useful. I offered to help her.

I couldn't help but watch the exchange between Clarke and Finn, I tried to look away but couldn't.

I tried to tone out what was being said but I couldn't help but overhear Clarke say "you need to save yourselves, just leave camp, take anyone healthy enough with you."

Then Finn's not subtle at all "If you think that's even a possibility then you don't know me very well."

Then to make it even worse I just happened to look back at them just as she said "I know you."

The look that the two of them shared was not something I wanted to see.

When I saw Clarke pass out I figured I'd offer my input "Look at this rate, when the grounders get here there won't be anyone left to fight back."

"That's the point." Octavia said obviously listening as well.

Then Finn responded "then we slow them down."

The look on his face showed that he had a plan. Fucking Finn to the rescue.

When I heard that his plan was to blow up the bridge all I kept thinking was I wanted to blow shit up. But instead I'm stuck playing doctor trying to impress the girl who obviously is only into one person and that's not me.

Connor starting having another of the vomiting spells, Octavia told me to put him on his side. Because that what Clarke said to do… Fucking princess is out cold and still I'm doing her bidding, actually helping the son of a bitch who tied the rope around my neck.

When I started helping him he gave me a questionable look, "alright listen to me, you and me were good."

"I put the rope around your neck, why are you helping me?" He didn't understand and neither did I.

I shook my head "Bygones."

Just then a couple came in bringing none other than Bellamy Blake, I had never seen him look so weak. His sister freaked when she saw him.

I could be wrong but I swear I heard him tell her that he was afraid. Them are words I never thought I'd hear coming from him.

When Octavia took off again I knew one way to try and get my way back in camp and that was help Bellamy. So when he woke up I tried to give him some water but he pretty much knocked it out of my hand. Then when blood started running down his nose I handed him a rag but he rather wipe it on his jacket.

Shit, I didn't know how I could do this if he won't even let me try.

Bellamy was starting to threaten me like he always did but that's when Clarke made her presence. She was up already, I knew she was strong. She gave me a slight nod so I let her take care of Blake.

I heard him bring up my name and she actually defended me. Said she didn't trust me, but I didn't expect anything different, but she did say she believed in second chances.

That was something…

They started moving everyone inside just in case Finn and Jasper couldn't pull off blowing up the bridge. When it stopped I figured that meant they did it but no one came to tell me. It wasn't until Finn carried Raven and laid her down on a cot that I knew it had worked.

Clarke followed them in checking on Raven. I couldn't help but feel a hint of jealousy that they get all her attention. She hadn't said a word to me since she started feeling better. Don't she get that the only reason I agreed to help them was because of her, I didn't give a fuck about any of these people. I don't care if they live or die.

I only care about her… I watched as she started walking out of the dropship, I couldn't miss the way she and Collins looked at each other. Then she turned to me and nodded with a slight smile on her face. I couldn't help but smile. I'm such an idiot.

What I heard next made me feel like I was being punched in the gut. They were keeping their voices down but I heard it clear as day "not the way that you love Clarke."

Raven was breaking up with Finn because he was in love with Clarke and he didn't deny it.

Now what the fuck was I going to do, I never really thought I'd have a chance with Clarke but there was that possibility but now with this shit happening, I knew she would never chose me over Collins. Even though he hurt her, he was the good guy, I wasn't.

Just to prove how bad I was I decided to do something very stupid. I wasn't planning it from the beginning but the opportunity came up and I decided to take it into my own hands. I grabbed a rag and dipped it into the water. Walked slowly to where Connor was sleeping.

Revenge is a sweet thing. It's what a guy like me lives for. I had pure intentions when I first got back to camp but that changed. I shouldn't try to change myself for someone else, especially someone who doesn't even see me.

Connor had no chance of survival.

* * *

 _dun dun dun  
_

 _well both have realized they have started developing feelings for each other and when Murphy feels like he will be rejected he does what Murphy does best, loses control._

 _Hope you enjoyed!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Heidi I have to admit I kind of like writing Murphy's POV, its more interesting than Clarke's. But I think thats why I made her kind of angry a lot as well, it gives it a little better writing for me._

* * *

Chapter 8

 **Murphy**

Goddammit, this is all that little fuckers fault. I should have insisted I go with Clarke on the hunting trip. But instead I kept my mouth shut and watched her walk out of the camp with Finn and Myles. I never would have imagined that would have been the last time I saw her.

I knew I wasn't good for her but I couldn't help but think it didn't matter. That somehow, maybe, just maybe, I might have a shot with her. Of course with Finn in the picture it made shit harder but I would have been willing to work for it.

But now it doesn't matter… I never told her how I felt and she will never know…

The princess, Clarke Griffin, is gone…

Of course we don't know for sure if she's dead or alive since Myles said they left him for dead and took Clarke and Finn. If she isn't dead yet she will be soon enough. I can't imagine her going through what I did. Them vicious monsters laying their hands on her, the thought of it made my stomach turn.

Then on top of everything Bellamy refusing to go look for them. He's just going to leave her out there to die, if she isn't already dead.

I have one more thing to take care of then I will be taking off on my own, I will find her one way or another.

I watched as Myles whined and cried like a little fucking baby. I was tortured for days and didn't whine as much as this fucker does.

"Water I need water." He cried to Bellamy.

I couldn't help but smile when Bellamy took off to do his bidding. I slowly walked up to him, plastic in hand. When I reached him I quickly put it over his head, suffocating him.

"This is for trying to kill me and being responsible for HER death." I was so angry that I hadn't even heard Jasper coming down the ladder.

He tried to act all nonchalantly like it didn't bother him that he just walked in on me killing this piece of shit. He shouldn't care, no one should care that he no longer breathed, no one should give a shit about that son of a bitch's death.

I saw Jasper looking at the gun that Bellamy had left lying on the table. Dammit Jasper why couldn't you have just let it go, I would have been gone before anyone even noticed he was dead.

Just when I didn't think things could get worse I noticed that Jasper had a walkie talkie and had just informed Bellamy that I have a gun and I killed Myles.

Fuck. There was no way of getting out of this now. I probably could have gotten past Jasper but now that everyone else knows what I did, I was screwed.

I tied Jasper up but honestly I didn't know what the next step would be. I didn't want to kill Jasper, he hadn't done a thing to me, or Clarke or anyone else for that. Jasper was a good guy.

FUUUUCK.

The good guys are overrated anyway. I didn't want to kill Jasper but I guess if it came down to it then I would.

Bellamy didn't know it but he made this whole situation better for me when he offered to take Jaspers place. I didn't want to kill Jasper but I could kill Bellamy in a heartbeat and not feel bad about it at all. He kicked the crate from beneath my feet, he had wanted me dead and now I have the opportunity to pay him back. Then there's the whole thing that he just left Clarke out there to die.

I knew Clarke wouldn't approve of my actions but since she was no longer around it didn't matter.

I made Bellamy make his own noose and I planned on having him hang himself. If there was one person in this camp that I wanted dead, it was him and now I was finally getting the opportunity to do so.

I looked at Bellamy now standing with the noose around his neck, I was so close to victory, so close to finally having the revenge that I deserved. But I'd be damned if they didn't have someone under the dropship, I wasn't sure what they were doing but I shot the rest of the clip into the ground and hoped that it hit whoever was down there. Then I turned back to Bellamy and kicked the table from his feet.

I finally thought it was finally over but then I heard the dropship door release. Well that wasn't good. I had to leave Bellamy hanging there and take off to the second floor, barricading myself in.

After searching through the bullets I found one that went to the gun I was holding, one fucking bullet, you've got to be kidding me. Bellamy was trying to crash through the hatch.

I was stuck, I was going to end up dying after all. I guess I'll be joining Clarke.

That's when I saw it, the gunpowder, the very explosive gunpowder.

I would be getting out of here after all, I really wasn't sure what I was going to do once I was out there again but at least I would be alive. I positioned the can by the wall and shot. Blowing a huge hole in the side of it.

I jumped out and took off. Only looking back when I knew I was far enough away.

I guess I deserved what happened next when once again I was captured by the grounders. I told them everything, all their plans, their strategies, everything. Hoping that they would spare my life but instead I was tied to a tree and left for dead. What bastards.

 **Clarke**

Even though I knew it was a bad idea to go hunting I knew it had to be done. Our people needed to eat, if not then we would be too weak to defend ourselves. I wasn't surprised when our group was ambushed by grounders but I was surprised that they didn't immediately kill me and Finn, instead they knocked us out.

I woke up to find Anya, I was even more surprised. But then when I saw the little girl laying on the table my heart sank. She looked horrible, just looking at her I knew she would be hard to save. I tried everything I could but still it wasn't enough, she still died.

When Anya told the grounder to take me away and then kill Finn, I completely lost it. I did the only thing I could think and that was kill the grounder so that I could save Finn and myself. Even though I knew it had to be done killing him made me feel like I lost a piece of myself.

When I escaped I ran and ran. I was in such a hurry I didn't even see the trap. I knew I was in trouble before I passed out.

When I was conscience again I looked across the fire at Anya, I still had hope that I could escape but that was before yet another grounder came trotting up on his horse and even Anya looked threated. Tristan is what he called himself and slaughtering my people is what he said he was going to do. Anya appeared to be pissed that the commander sent someone else to do the job she was supposed to do.

All was stopped when they saw a fire in the distance, signal fire, for something called the reapers. I wasn't sure what a reaper was but I couldn't help but think my life might have just been saved because of them.

Once Tristan left Anya was left to take care of me. But of course she wouldn't do it on her own. She had yet another grounder that was going to do her bidding.

"Is the boy dead?" Anya asked the newest addition.

When he turned back to her and nodded, I felt sick. Finn… Finn was dead.

I still tried to fight but I was nowhere near as strong as him. He pulled my chains and I was knocked out upon contact with the ground.

I guess it was finally my time.

I woke up and was traveling on a horse. Wait, I woke up. I wasn't dead.

When we came to a stop and he untied me, I was confused. But none of that matter a second later when I saw Finn standing there. Finn wasn't dead either. Or was I dead… And he is to… Maybe we are dead.

It wasn't until I turned around and Lincoln revealed himself that everything started making sense. I wasn't dead, Finn wasn't dead. All thanks to Lincoln. He saved our lives.

With the help of Lincoln we were able to make it back to camp but not without some scary encounters with what the grounders call reapers. No wonder they were scared of them. I thought the grounders were savages but they're nothing compared to the reapers.

Lincoln sacrificed himself to save me and Finn so we could get back and save our people.

Before we made it back Finn confessed that he had fallen in love with me. But I couldn't reciprocate that love, I did care for him there was no doubt in my mind about that but he broke my heart. And while I was mending my broken heart, somehow I had let someone else in. It wasn't until that moment that I realized just how much Murphy meant to me and it scared the shit out of me. If I could get my heart broken by someone who is as sweet as Finn I could only imagine what Murphy could do to me.

My thoughts were interrupted by a big explosion that came from the camp. "Were too late."

We ran the fastest that we could but didn't pass any grounders on the way. When we reached camp Bellamy ran toward us.

"Hey we heard an explosion, what happened?" I asked as we ran inside the gate.

"Murphy happened." I couldn't process Bellamy's words. Murphy… What the hell did he do?

Jasper had me in his arms before I could ask what happened with Murphy. Then so much more happened after that, that I had no time to think about Murphy and how I felt like my heart was breaking all over again.

Jasper informed me that Monty was missing, than Finn was yelling about having to leave and Bellamy was arguing with him saying we needed to stay and fight. Even though Bellamy made good points I knew we wouldn't survive if we attempted to fight them, I was with Finn on this, we needed to go.

Then to top everything off Raven had been shot. By Murphy…

What the hell was Murphy thinking, he had gotten back in good with the camp, why would he do something like this? Why would he shoot Raven? She had never done a thing to him.

I needed to get my mind off Murphy and back on the current situation. I needed to get Raven well enough to make the trip and get the 100 ready to go. I knew Bellamy was pissed about my decision to leave but I truly believed it was what was best for our people.

After a pep talk I finally was able to convince Bellamy to join us, we needed him.

Even though my plan ended up failing I still believed it was what was best. We just tried to leave too late.

I didn't want to fight but we have no other option now. After Bellamy told me what the plan consisted of I couldn't believe it. It wasn't a plan at all. I saw how many grounders were out there and there was no way that we would be able to kill them all. We were all going to die.

A thought came to me, Raven said there was enough rocket fuel under the dropship to build 100 bombs. Maybe just maybe we could blast off and burn all the grounders.

I was trying my hardest to find the ignition system but was having no luck. Finally after a heart to heart with Raven I found the orange wire just to find that it had been fried. And since I obviously couldn't splice a wire, I was screwed. Thankfully we had some hope, Jasper. He wouldn't be able to do as good of a job as Raven but he's a better option than me.

In the middle of all the craziness we see the Ark shooting down from the sky.

That gives us just enough time for the reapers to come. Who the hell would think to do something like that? Finn that's who.

Jasper did it just in time, the grounders were starting to get through the gate. All we had to do was get our people inside. Bellamy was trying to make it to the dropship but was attacked, Finn ran to help him. They didn't have enough time to make it inside. I had to close the door with them still outside. If the grounders didn't kill them, then I just did.

Finally it was over, the blast had worked the bodies were charred. As I stepped out of the dropship I couldn't help but look for Finn and Bellamy but all I could see was ash that use to be people. They were unrecognizable.

Too bad I didn't have time to really think about it because before I knew what was happening we were surrounded by some kind of red gas. The last thing I remember is Anya say "The Mountain Men."

* * *

 _This is where season 1 ends, next chapter will be the start of season 2._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 **Murphy**

I watched the explosion coming from the camp still tied up to the tree. I didn't know exactly what happened but I heard a lot of screams. I had been working on getting the rope undone but hadn't quite got it yet.

I kept expecting to see grounders swarming, killing me, if they had been victorious. But the time never came. I watched the grounder who was left behind to guard me and he was starting to look nervous. Something was wrong.

Maybe my people had actually won. Well not my people but her people. Clarke's people. I really hoped they did. I know it doesn't make sense but I didn't want them all dead. I actually hoped they did it to honor Clarke.

I waited for the grounder to leave, I had finally gotten myself loose but without a weapon I couldn't really defend myself. I stalked behind him seeing where he was headed. I noticed he was going to the dropship. I wasn't sure exactly how I would kill him but I'd find a way.

It smelled of ash and death the closer I got. When I started seeing the charcoaled remains scattered all around the dropship, I could see what happened. The grounder walked slowly into the dropship, when I didn't hear anything at first I thought the delinquents weren't there.

Then a shot ripped through the air. Someone was in there.

I knew this probably was the last place I was wanted but who cares, if I'm going to die I don't want to die alone. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness inside the dropship but when they finally did I saw Raven pointing a gun at me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's ok" I put my hands up "its ok Raven don't, don't shoot please."

"Why not? You shot me." She was pissed.

Then she seriously tried to shoot me. Fuck, I thought I was dead. Not sure why it surprises me though, I did kind of deserve it.

I hobbled my way into the dropship and sat down "yea, I would have shot me to."

We threw a few insults at each other when she started coughing up blood. I had to help her even though she fought me the entire time, I wouldn't let her die, not if I could help. She didn't deserve it.

She asked why I was helping her and the only thing I could think of was because I didn't want to die alone.

I tried to apologize for shooting her but I knew it wouldn't matter what I said. She will always hate me, until the day we both died.

I wasn't trying to get sympathy from Raven but I finally opened up about why I ended up the way I did. It was no excuse, I just couldn't handle what happened. I acted out and had no one there to help me get through it.

My thoughts went back to Clarke, I thought about her a lot here lately. I knew even if she was still alive I'd never have a shot with her. I was to fucked up, I knew she was fucked up to but not enough to actually want something out of someone like me.

This wasn't me. I wasn't some sappy asshole that thought about some girl like this. It pissed me off more than anything that she kept creeping up in my head no matter how much I didn't want it to happen.

I was pulled from my thoughts when Marcus Kane and Abby Griffin walked through the dropship doors. The Ark had made it down. I couldn't help but stare at Abby seeing for the first time how much the older lady resembled her daughter. I made sure she got to Raven, I knew if anyone could help her, it would be Abby.

Then I heard Raven tell Abby "Clarkes not here, I don't know where she is."

Does that mean what I think it does? Is Clarke alive? Did she see her? Does she know what I did?

I couldn't help but ask Raven "Clarke's alive?"

She just nodded before Abby asked her what happened. Shit now I was in for it. But she didn't tell her, she didn't tell her that I was the one who shot her. I didn't understand.

They put Raven on a stretcher and Kane helped me. We started walking across the camp when I saw Bellamy.

This wasn't going to be good. I can't lie, I really hoped he wouldn't have made it.

He came at me which I expected but what I didn't was when one of the guards tased him. I got lucky because if Bellamy would have been able to do what he wanted, I would be dead. Second time today I should have been killed. Call it fate that I'm still alive.

After locking me up with Bellamy I thought that things wouldn't get any better but that was until Finn came in and said they were going after them. I couldn't stay behind, I had to go, I had to see her again.

"W.. What about me?" I asked not expecting them to allow me to tag along.

Finn shook his head, of course he wouldn't want me around. But Bellamy knew exactly what I knew. I was the only one who had been to the grounder camp and if Clarke and the others were there, I would be their only hope to find them.

When we made it to the grounder camp there was nothing but grounders there, none of our people in sight. But when Finn said that one of them had Clarke's watch I knew something was wrong, there isn't no way in hell that she would give that up. Even I knew how important that was to her.

When I was told that I was going to be used as bait, I didn't complain. They might have found it odd but they didn't mention it. I didn't mind being bait if it meant I had a hand in helping find her.

Of course Finn grabbed the watch from around the grounders neck. He had no idea how much I wanted to take it from his hands.

We made our way to the bunker, yea Finn suggested we bring the grounder to the bunker. Not only does he have memories with Clarke there but so do I. This was somewhere that was going to be hard for me to be.

When they began questioning him, he kept saying that he didn't see any girl that the watch was laying on the ground. I knew there was no way that Clarke would leave that watch anywhere, she fought tooth and nail to keep it for this long. She wouldn't just give it up. Finn called him out on it and the more I watched the scene play out in front of me the more amused I became, Finn was starting to unravel. This was a site I never thought I'd see.

As I looked from face to face I noticed I wasn't the only one who thought so. Bellamy tried to calm him down but it wasn't happening, I knew exactly how he felt because I felt the same way. If Finn wouldn't have taken charge like he had, I would of. I know I can be a good guy but not when it comes to someone I care about. No one deserves mercy, not when they have Clarke.

I was impressed when he was able to get the one eyes grounder to tell us where Clarke was.

We were going to find her, I know we were, she had to be alive.

When Finn shot the grounder and killed him after he gave us the information we needed, I hated to admit it but I was proud of him. I knew it needed to be done but no one would listen to me. No one would let me near him or I would have done it myself.

As we were making our way to the grounder camp we came across one of the Ark crash sites. Everyone was dead except one girl who just happened to be hanging off a cliff. Of course it couldn't be anything easy. Bellamy went down to rescue her and when the seatbelts that we used to lower him broke, I could have let him fall. I could have gotten rid of my Bellamy problem but for some reason I caught the rope, I let him live.

When we split off and Bellamy actually gave me a gun I was shocked. I guess I had earned partial forgiveness after all. Not really sure if I deserve it with all the fucked up things I've done but hell a guy sure can try. It was nice being armed though, at least I had a chance to help save her myself as well.

We made it to the camp but something was off, these people weren't warriors. I was starting to think that we were lied to but Finn wouldn't listen. He wanted to wait until dark then make our way inside the camp. I was starting to get a bad feeling about this. I wanted to save Clarke and the rest just as much as he did but I was thinking he was beginning to lose it.

I became nervous the later it got, I didn't know exactly what the plan was but looking at Finn nothing was going to go good. I tried to reason with him but he wouldn't hear me. I knew he loved Clarke but acting like this wasn't going to get her back. Losing control was going to do nothing but make matters worse for the sky people.

I followed behind him and when he threw the torch into the grounders food supply, I froze. This was not starting out good. If we had some kind of proof the situation would be different, but we had nothing.

Then I realized it was meant for a distraction, so we would be able to look around without anyone seeing us. I guess that made a little more sense. Well that was until we were spotted. Finn grabbed ahold of the guy, ordering them to tell us where our people were. Just as I thought they would, they said they didn't have them but Finn didn't believe them. They even agreed to us checking the entire camp, they weren't hiding anything.

Finn searched and searched not find one single person but when he saw the clothes that I suspected they stole from the dropship he completely lost it. He jumped into the pen where we were holding them. Screaming and yelling. Then grabbed ahold of a woman and threw her on the ground. A fucking woman, really Finn.

I begged and pleaded with him, not to do anything stupid. To just leave this place. But he didn't hear me. He was so caught up with rage he didn't seem to hear a word I said.

Finally I seemed to be breaking through, he let the grounder woman up. He stood against the post an emotional wreck. I felt for him, I knew this was tearing him up inside. But I seemed to have gotten through to him, after about the third time of telling him we needed to go he finally turned around and started walking with me.

One of the fucking grounders decided it was a good idea to jump the fence and come after us and that was it for Finn. He shot taking him down then more followed, all receiving the same fate.

I tried over and over again to tell him to stop, I tried to get him to do the right thing but he wouldn't listen. He just wouldn't stop.

I thought I was seeing things at first when I saw her running through the woods toward us but once I saw Bellamy and Octavia following her I knew they were actually there. That's exactly what Finn needed to stop, the moment he saw her his posture completely changed.

He wasn't the only one who couldn't take his eyes off her. It had been so long since I saw her and after thinking she was dead, she really was a site for sore eyes. If there was one thing I couldn't miss was the way she looked at Finn, almost scared then the look of hate she gave me.

I guess this will just be another thing that will be my fault.


	10. Chapter 10

_I will have back-to-back chapter update today for this story. Enjoy!_

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Chapter 10

 **Clarke**

I knew from the moment I woke up in that freaky ass white room that something was not right here. Even though no one else would believe me I knew it in the pit of my stomach. When I got myself admitted into medical and found what they were doing to the grounders I knew I had to get my people out of there.

These people were fucking crazy.

I found Anya and we escaped together even though she didn't trust me and I sure the hell didn't trust her, we did make it out alive. We fought the entire way out, even tried to kill each other on a few different occasions. I held my own against her but she was strong, I would have probably been dead if she would have been at full strength.

We were at the dropship when I saw it, the signal. I knew it had to be from the Ark, my people were alive.

When we made it to the Ark I knew Anya was scared at the size. Knowing that we now had more than enough people to protect ourselves, it would only be smart to form an alliance to defeat Mt. Weather.

I released her and to my surprise she agreed that it would be smart to work together, telling me the commander was her second and she believed she could get an audience. She turned and the unthinkable happened, someone shot her. Someone fucking shot her. Then shot me as well. I attempted to save her but then I was knocked out from behind.

As I was being dragged into the camp I swear I saw my mom, but that can't be right. I saw the exodus ship crash, she was supposed to be on it.

The first thing I asked her was if anyone else made it. When she told me that both Finn and Bellamy were still alive I felt a flood of emotions. I thought they were dead, I thought she was dead.

When I walked out of medical and Raven was sitting there the emotions hit me all over again. She was wearing a brace but she seemed to be doing better. We were talking when the gates opened and I saw Bellamy. Raven knew I had to get to him. "Go."

I ran physically as fast as my body allowed and wrapped my arms around him. I knew this was weird for him, since we didn't exactly like each other most of our time on the ground but we were a team. We lead the 100 together. He finally hugged me back.

Then I hugged Octavia. I looked around obviously looking for someone who wasn't there. "Where's Finn?"

He looked distraught "Looking for you."

After the council discussed what they were going to do my mom let me know that they were just going to have to let Finn and Murphy lose. Wait and Murphy, how the hell did Murphy get back involved with the camp? I'd have to ask about that later. With Raven and Bellamy here I couldn't imagine they would be ok with Murphy being here.

We decided since no one was going to go looking for Finn, well and Murphy that we would do it ourselves. We stopped to rest and Bellamy started telling me how Finn had changed since I was taken. I couldn't believe that he was really like Bellamy was saying. He almost sounded like Murphy, Finn was always one to rationally think things through, Murphy was the complete opposite he never thought of the consequences. I didn't know what was going on but it seemed like Finn had started turning into Murphy. Maybe even worse.

We were getting close to the camp when we heard the gunshots, I didn't know what was going on but I had a bad feeling in my stomach. We ran until we reached the camp, I couldn't believe the site that I saw. So many dead grounders and Finn standing on the other side with Murphy next to him.

I wasn't completely sure but I was almost positive that this was all Finn's doing. He came toward me but I couldn't help but back up. I didn't want him touching me. This wasn't the Finn I knew.

 **2 Days Later**

I still hadn't talked to Finn, I know I needed to but I couldn't. I understand that were at war with the grounders but that doesn't mean you can go around killing any of them for no reason.

Bellamy pretty much pushed me into talking to him. I'll have to remember to repay him for that later. I tried to be as casual as I possibly could but I knew I was coming off bitchy. I was still pretty pissed at Murphy because of what he did but when he came and sat with us, I felt relieved.

"Ah! Check it out, salvaged Monty's still from the dropship, now I guess, you know, if they could just salvage Monty, huh?" Murphy had a smile on his face and even though I tried to look away I couldn't.

I attempted to glare at him.

"Easy. It was just a joke." Only Murphy could be cracking jokes at a time like this.

He tried to make small talk but obviously noticed the disconnect between me and Finn.

When Finn got up and walked away Murphy looked at me and said "trouble in paradise?" Then with a wink he continued "this could be good for me."

Even though I wanted to say some snarky comeback to him because honestly I could use one of them hidden times away with Murphy right now I won't because of what he did. "Just because they pardoned you, doesn't mean I have."

He actually looked hurt and I hated how that made me feel. Ugh! What the hell is wrong with me, I can't even look at Finn and he only killed grounders, yes innocent grounders but grounders nonetheless. Murphy killed our own people, two of us and for some reason I couldn't quit thinking about him.

When Raven came over and told Murphy to beat it, it couldn't have been at a better time. I wasn't sure how much longer I could take being that close to him.

We set out on a mission to try and destroy the tower that's blocking the signals for our radios, of course Finn had to come since he was the best tracker. I figure one day we could move past it but that day isn't today and I didn't think he was ready to be out here with a gun again. We were separated from the group when the acid fog came, we just happened to end up at the bunker. Where I found yet another one of Finn's victims.

I hadn't meant to look at Finn in disgust but I knew I was.

"So at first you couldn't even look at me, and now you're looking at me like I'm the enemy." He said and his words actually kind of broke my heart.

"I'm not looking at you like that." I said as I shook my head.

"Well you don't look at me the way you use to." And I knew that was the truth.

I couldn't respond, so I looked away from him.

He started walking toward me, "I've been waiting for the right moment to give you this." He stopped right in front of me "I'm starting to feel like that moment may never come."

Then he pulled out my dad's watch. That was the happiest I had been in days. But how the hell did Finn end up with his watch?

"I know how much it means to you." He was right out of every one of my possessions this means the most.

"Where'd you get this?" I needed to know.

"It was around his neck." He said as he turned around to look at the dead grounder.

Now I understood, some. I got why he killed that grounder. He really had a reason to believe what he told him. I couldn't help but tear up.

After sitting in the bunker until the fog cleared finally I was able to speak to Finn again. "They were unarmed."

It was obvious he didn't want to talk about this.

"I don't even know who you are anymore." I knew it would hurt him but I needed him to know how I felt.

I hadn't expected him to break down and say "neither do I."

I realized right then that the ground has changed us all, not only Finn. "What have we become?"

Once we met back up with my mom and Raven I finally had some hope, Raven was able to break into Mount Weathers radio frequency. We were now able listen to the enemy.

But it was completely shattered a moment later when Thelonious found us. He had a message from the commander. "Leave or die."

And we only had 2 days. What the hell? Where would we go? It's not like we could just go back up to space, not like we would anyway but still we had nowhere to go.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 **Murphy**

Well Jaha's return was something. Not expected at all, that's for sure.

I knew we'd end up paying for what Finn did and I was not wrong. We had only 16 hours until the grounders would attack and they still had no idea what we were going to do.

It was obvious they couldn't agree, Abby wanted to stay, Jaha wanted to leave. Right now I had no idea what was the right thing to do. But did I ever?

The only thing I do know is Clarke wouldn't want to leave, she would want to stay so they can rescue the 47 at mount weather.

When Abby called for the evacuation I realized that Clarke was nowhere to be found. I planned to ask Finn if he had seen her but when I reached him he was leaving camp. So I followed him, I wasn't sure if he would lead me to Clarke but figured there was a good chance.

I knew exactly where he was headed before he even reached it, the dropship. I stayed outside and just waited. When I saw Finn reappear on the bottom level I moved closer and noticed right away that he looked even more haunted then he had been since being back. When Clarke made her way down the ladder I stayed in the shadows, not wanting her to see me.

She was talking about Lincoln. It took me a minute to remember who he was, Octavia's grounder boyfriend. She was going on and on about how he could be saved and then told him "Lincolns savable and so are you."

The only thing I could say right then was I really hated Finn Collins. I hated him for hurting Clarke over and over and somehow she could still look at him with love in her eyes. I hated that I hoped the way she had been treating him the last couple days would have stayed.

All I kept thinking was maybe I could redeem myself and make myself worthy of her. But with Finn around I knew it could never happen.

I made it back to Camp Jaha before Clarke and Finn did. I didn't know exactly what the plan was but I knew they had one, one that would hopefully save our people. Hmm… Save her people. I guess technically speaking they are my people as well but I haven't felt that way it awhile.

When I heard Clarke tell her mom that she was going to speak to the grounder commander on her own, I didn't like it one bit.

I waited for Clarke to return and when my patience was gone, which I had to admit didn't take long I snuck out of camp. I knew I couldn't get close to the commander but I wanted to get as close as I possibly could. I stayed far enough back that I wouldn't be seen by the grounders but close enough that I could see the commander's tent in the distance.

When I saw them emerge together, I felt relief automatically. She wasn't dead, not yet anyway.

I followed as closely as I could, back to the dropship. Hating the fact that I couldn't move closer to her.

I wasn't sure exactly what happened inside but when they finally emerged and Clarke and the others were still alive I could only imagine that it had worked. They were able to bring Lincoln back.

I snuck back into camp before anyone even knew I was gone. I waited on Clarke to make her way back but it seemed to take forever. I was among the many who stood in the crowd waiting to see the fate of the camp. Then I heard Bellamy announce that she was back, I made my way closer to Abby knowing that's where she'd end up.

"What did she say?" Abby asked "Is there a chance for a truce?"

She said "yes" but it was obvious something was wrong, she didn't seem excited.

"What's wrong?" Finn asked picking up on the same thing I had.

She turned to Finn, "they want you." Then she looked away to everyone else "if we want a truce we have to give them Finn."

Oh shit… I knew I was just thinking that everything would be so much easier for me if Finn was gone but I didn't want this. If we gave Finn to the grounders they would kill him. I get what he did was wrong but he wasn't in his right mind.

What the fuck, I'm defending him now. Being back here has really started messing with my head.

Things turned bad fast, there was some who thought it was a good idea to give Finn up and then there was some who thought it wasn't. I could see both points, if we let them take Finn then the rest of us will live but can we really give up one of our own?

I saw Finn sitting alone and I'm not sure why but I decided I needed to talk to him. We've never really seen eye to eye, you know which is hard to do when you both are into the same girl, but I wanted to let him know that I thought we could hold them off. We had done it once already, what's another time right?

Clarke and Bellamy walked up not long after I sat down, pretty much ordering Finn inside, so it's safer. Once Bellamy and Finn walked away. I tried to make small talk with Clarke.

"Hey any orders for me, Princess?" I asked.

"Stay away from me." Well shit that was harsh. She turned and started walking away.

"I'm just trying to be helpful." And I needed her to talk to me.

"You were with him at the village." She said like I didn't already know that.

"I tried to stop him." I begged for her to hear me.

"Not hard enough." With that she turned away from me again.

"You know what if you want to start blaming people Clarke, he was out there looking for you." I knew that it didn't matter how I thought I felt about her, all hope was gone.

She blamed me for what Finn did, why the hell wouldn't she? After all I am the bad guy, even when I'm not.

I watched her walk away and felt my break crumble as she did.

 **Clarke**

It hurt as I walked away from Murphy but I knew I couldn't stand there talking to him anymore. I needed to figure out how to fix this thing with Finn and I don't need this weird ass thing that I've grown for Murphy to fuck up my concentration. I can't be distracted by anything and I know if I let Murphy in that's exactly what will happen. I knew he's not to blame for Finn's actions but I needed to blame someone and he was the perfect scapegoat.

Finally after clearing my head I walked into medical to see how Lincoln was. Also I needed answers, I needed to know if there was any way to save Finn.

Even though I hoped he could give me the answers that I wanted to hear I wasn't surprised when he didn't. I knew in my heart it was either we give them Finn or they will attack and kill us all, Lincoln told me what I already knew.

My mom asked "what will they do to him?"

"Fire, because he killed the innocent, it will start with fire." Lincoln replied.

"Starts?" I said not believing what I just heard.

"They'll take his hands, his tongue, his eyes, anyone who grieves will have a turn with the knife." He paused "At sunrise the commander will end it with her sword. But I've never known anyone to survive until the sword. Kill 18 he will suffer the pain of 18 deaths, then we can have peace."

I was speechless. They actually lived like this down here? Why couldn't they just kill him, he didn't make the grounders suffer, he just put a bullet through them. What was I even thinking that for? We would not give him up, I couldn't give him up. No matter what he did.

I went to find Finn and after finding Bellamy, he told me where he was. When I went inside the tent and I saw him packing a bag. He was leaving? I tried to make him understand if he left this camp they would catch him and they would kill him. All he could think about is how he was putting everyone's life in danger.

After he pledged his love to me once again and told me that the only thing that mattered was me being ok he wanted me to say something. I had a feeling he wanted me to tell him that I loved him to, but I didn't so I couldn't. All I could say is "Don't leave."

The grounders started chanting, I didn't know for sure but it sounded like we were out of time.

I met up with my mom, she was scared but with a little pep talk I think I made her at least fake that she's not afraid. After she told the two grounders that were waiting on our answer that we weren't giving them Finn. They left and in my opinion it seemed too easy. That was until we saw Kane emerge from the woods.

He said he was able to buy us more time but I was focused on something else. I was focused on the way my mom and Kane looked at each other. Hmm, it couldn't be, could it? My mom and Marcus Kane.

They took off to talk about Finn and what to do, at least it's what I suspected.

I was talking with Finn when Bellamy came toward us telling us we needed to get Finn out of there that they were turning on him. There is no way in hell my mom would turn on him. What was we going to do?

I knew it was probably a bad idea but I finally agreed, we needed to get Finn to another place. We decided to sneak out and get to the dropship. I just hoped like hell we could get past the grounders and make it there. Things seemed to be going good until a grounder found us, I tried to fight but was knocked out before I even realized what happened.


	12. Chapter 12

_You know Heidi I never really disliked Finn he just made a lot of bad decisions over and over again lol I actually couldn't believe they killed him off but that was a first of many. It almost makes me scared to see who else will be killed off next season_

 _Well I hope everyone had a good 4th. I didn't get to see fireworks with my kids this year, stupid work._

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Chapter 12

 **Murphy**

When Raven came to me, honestly I was surprised that she would want me involved with their plans when obviously the princess wanted nothing to do with me at all. I guess I could almost call Raven a friend, at least the closest thing that I have to one. I made it to the dropship, Bellamy and Raven were already freaking out because Finn and Clarke still weren't there. I did not want to think about why they weren't there.

When we finally heard someone we didn't expect to see what we did. Finn was carrying Clarke, my heart stopped, she didn't look good. Bellamy started calling out things that he needed and I did all I could to help, I would not let this girl die. Finally she started stirring.

I couldn't help but overhear Raven and Finn talking, she told him "Hey it's just a bump on the head, Clarke's going to be ok, are you?"

Finn didn't answer her, I remember that look, it was the look before he massacred the village.

"We'll figure this out." Raven was trying to get through to him.

"That's what she said, right before I almost got her killed." Finn was obviously losing it again, Clarke getting attacked was not going to sit well with him.

He took off outside the dropship. Raven went after him.

When they came back inside I gave them space, even though I didn't want to leave Clarke's side I knew that both Raven and Finn needed to be there as well. I didn't want to overhear so I went and found Bellamy and much too soon we realized that we were in trouble. They found us and we were surrounded.

I was going to die because of the boy who was in love with the girl I was also falling for. How stupid was I to come out here to help?

The grounders weren't attacking, we figured it was because they was waiting until dark. I suggested we hit them now, they wouldn't be expecting it so we may be able to kill enough to survive. Clarke shot my idea down, but I wasn't hearing any better ideas.

"We'll give them something?" Raven questioned.

"All they want is Finn." Bellamy answered.

"Finn wasn't the only one at the village." I couldn't believe that she just said that.

"What are you talking about?" It was Clarke who asked.

"Raven hold on." Even Bellamy seemed to have my back.

"Whoa, Raven I came here to protect him, you were the one who wanted me to come, you…" Then it hit me "That's why you asked me to come along?"

"Enough grounders saw him at the village, they'd believe he was the shooter." Raven was losing her fucking mind.

"Sick bitch." I was pissed.

"Raven you don't mean this." Clarke tried to talk her down.

"You know what they do to people." Even though Bellamy and I tried to kill each other he even defended me.

"They want a murderer, we'll give them one." Raven pulled her gun on me "Drop your gun."

"Go to hell Raven." I said as I walked closer to her, I will not show her fear.

"Put it down Raven. Like it or not, he's one of us." I didn't take my eyes off Raven but hearing Clarke say that made me know my decision to come here and help was worth it.

"I said drop it." She was still pointing her gun at me and I was still holding mine firmly.

Finally Finn intervened and took the gun from Raven.

About damn time.

Finn finally had a plan, to stay and defend the place. Not the best of plans but better one than Raven had, in my opinion, anyway. He told me to go upstairs and watch the rear, he said he'd take the lower level, and for the other 3 to watch the front gate.

I did as he said, I just wanted to be away from Raven and her betraying ass. I know she was hurting but how fucked up is she. Yet again someone was trying to put someone's death on me that I had no part in.

 **Clarke**

I should have known, I should have known by the way he looked at me, what he was going to do. Here we are standing guard making sure the grounders don't get inside, just so he can sneak out and allow them to capture him. When I saw him standing outside the gate, my heart sank. He could not do this, he could not leave me.

We went back to Camp Jaha and watched as the grounders set up where they were going to kill Finn. They wanted us to watch them torture him. What was wrong with these people? Not only were they killing one of our people, they were going to torture him for hours and wanted us to watch it. They wanted us to watch him die. I couldn't do it, I wouldn't do it.

There had to be something that we hadn't thought of. There has to be a way to save him. I told Bellamy and Raven that I was going to talk to the commander, I had no idea what I was going to say but I had to try. When Raven handed me the knife I had no idea what I was going to do with it. I knew what she wanted me to do with it but I knew that wouldn't be the case. I would not kill the commander that would be a death sentence to the rest of my people.

I walked through the grounders, until I reached Indra. She stood with a spear to my stomach but I wouldn't move, I wanted to speak to the commander. She pushed, blood started slowly dripping out of the now open wound.

"Let her pass." I heard the commander order. And thankfully she did because that was starting to hurt a little.

I walked to her then she said "you bleed for nothing, you cannot stop this."

"No, only you can." They had just brought Finn out, our eyes met briefly before turning back to the commander. "Show my people how powerful you are. Show them you can be merciful. Show them you're not a savage."

"We are what we are." Dammit I hoped I could get through to her.

"Then I'm a killer, I burned 300 of your people, I slit a man's throat and watched him die. I'm soaked in grounder blood, take me." I would rather die than to watch him die.

"But Finn is guilty."

"No, he did it for me. He did it for me." That was the first time I admitted to myself that this was all because of me.

"Then he dies for you." She was emotionless.

As I looked over at Finn tied to the tree, I knew what I had to do, I couldn't allow them to torture and kill him. This was on me so I should be the one to feel the burden of death.

"Can I say goodbye?" I asked her.

She didn't say a word but motioned for me to do so.

I ran to him and kissed him, I needed him to know I really cared for him and that I did forgive him for what he did. It was all because of me right so I had no reason to be mad at him. I told him that I loved him to, did I actually think I did, I wasn't sure but I knew my heart hurt knowing what I was about to do. He was in my heart that was for sure, I knew that I could love him and maybe I did.

I told him he was going to be ok as I stabbed the knife that Raven gave me into him. I felt yet another piece of myself slip away.

"Thanks Princess." I couldn't believe he actually thanked me. It was the last words that I would ever hear him speak.

I knew what I did wouldn't go over good with certain people back at camp but I hoped eventually they would understand that it had to be done.

Once I was sitting in the tent alone everything finally seeped in. I looked at the blood on my hand, his blood, Finn's blood.

What have I done? I killed him.

Oh my God, I killed Finn. I scrubbed harder and harder but couldn't seem to get the blood off my hands.

My mom and Marcus walked in. My mom slowly made her way to me.

"They would have tortured him, I had to… I had to…" I honestly didn't know who I was trying to convince at this point.

I tried to make myself look presentable when they came and told me that the commander was ready to see me. But I couldn't hide that I had been crying.

The commander passed us by and sat in her chair. "Blood has answered blood. Some on my side say that's not enough, they wanted the murderer to suffer as our tradition demands. But they do not know your suffering will be worse. What you did tonight will haunt you until the end of your days. Still there will be restitution, the body will be given to the people of TonDC, murderer and murdered joined by fire. Only then can we have peace."

Kane tried to argue that we wouldn't give up the body and he and Indra had words. Then my mom got involved. I've had enough, I can't do this anymore. I agreed to the terms. I will not let his death be in vain. The commander wanted to leave now and that was fine by me, I couldn't stand being here. Not right now, not after what I did.

There was one thing I did need to do before leaving with the grounders. There was one person I needed to see. I knew we were supposed to be leaving right now but this wouldn't take long.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 **Murphy**

After seeing what Clarke did, I knew there was no way in hell that she was ever going to be able to get past this. I knew it was better this way, for Finn anyway. This kept him from being tortured for hours, this made his death quick.

When I saw Clarke walking toward me, I was confused. I heard they were heading to TonDC and that Clarke was going as well. So when I saw her I didn't understand.

She stopped in front of me. "Follow me."

She didn't say anything else but she didn't have to I followed her without hesitation.

She walked into one of the empty room, waiting for me then closing the door behind us. "Take your clothes off."

"Whoa… Clarke wait a minute." This was not a good idea.

"Don't talk, I don't care what's right and what's wrong at this point. Take your fucking clothes off." She ordered.

This time I did as she said, I slowly took one piece of clothes off at a time. Giving her a chance to change her mind. By the time I was working on my pants she was already standing there completely naked.

"Hurry I don't have much time." She pleaded with me.

I took a deep breath then pulled my pants and underwear off, she didn't move toward me, so I went to her.

I knew this would be a bad idea from the moment we walked into this room but I couldn't tell her no. I didn't want to tell her no. I would do anything to make her happy and if this is what she needed then this is what I was going to give her.

I pulled her to me roughly, knowing how she was feeling right now that she wouldn't want anything more. Then I threw her up against the wall, making a lot of noise in the process. But she didn't seem to notice, the moment her back hit the wall she pulled me to her. I pulled her up and she wrapped her legs around me. It had been so long since I had Clarke like this I almost forgot how good it felt.

"Fuck me harder Murphy." Clarke growled in my ear.

I didn't know if I could until that moment. Hearing her telling me what to do, made me do just that. I slammed her into the wall, over and over again. I knew the moment she was on a verge of having an orgasm and just knowing how close she was it made me cum as soon as she did. She unhooked her legs from my waist and I slowly put her down.

When she finally looked at me after everything I don't know what came over me but I kissed her. You wouldn't think that would be a big deal since we were both standing there completely naked after just having sex but it was the most personal thing we've ever done. Yea we had kissed before having sex the last two times but not since and it was nothing like this kiss. This kiss was full of passion and it wasn't just on my end.

Clarke kissed me back. I had no idea what it meant but she did. Then she did the unthinkable, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer to her. I followed suit and put my arms around her waist. I wasn't sure how long we kissed but it felt like an eternity to me.

She abruptly pulled away, which if I'm being honest it's what I expected from the beginning. She pushed me back then quickly got dressed and left me staring after her. I heard her say "I got to go."

I don't know exactly what that was about but I knew there was something there. There was no doubt in my mind that she had really cared about Finn but now I was starting to think maybe she cared about me to.

I could be wrong though, that had happened a time or two.

 **Clarke**

I wasn't sure what I was thinking when I went to Murphy but now I was feeling worse than I had before. Everything with him was supposed to be easy and meaningless but when he kissed me afterwards, it ruined that. I knew that he wanted more out of this than what I did.

I mean obviously I care for him but it doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore.

I had to get out of Camp Jaha as quickly as possible and get to TonDC with Finn's body.

Finn… I wasn't sure what it was but I kept seeing him everywhere. I didn't know if I was going crazy or what but I felt like I was slowly losing it.

Bellamy tried to assure me that I did the right thing with Finn. I mean I knew I did the right thing, it was the only thing that could be done at that moment but now I would have to live with it.

Bellamy started talking about how he thought we needed an inside man in mount weather. But I wouldn't have that, I wouldn't have Bellamy going and risking his life. I couldn't lose him to.

I knew we wouldn't be wanted at TonDC but I didn't think we'd get the kind of welcome that we did. They absolutely hate us. They want us all dead.

When Lexa handed me the torch to light the body I knew this was just going to piss them off even more. Even though I wasn't completely sold on this being a good idea, I took it anyway. I wasn't about to start pissing the commander off now. It was then that I started thinking I had been seeing Finn because it was his way of letting me know that he was ok with what I had to do.

I learned something about the commander that day as well. She once had lost someone special to her as well, Costia was caught by the Ice Nation and because she was Lexa's they thought she knew her secrets. They tortured her, killed her than cut off her head. I realized right then that that is why she became so cold, she believed love to be weakness.

Well because things could get worse they did. Gustus decided because he thought having an alliance with the sky people would get the commander killed, he took it upon himself to poison the cup she was supposed to drink from and make it seem like we did it. He even planted the poison on Raven.

All I have to really say is, get over yourself. Fuck.

When Gustus admitted what he did he replaced Raven on the tree and as we watched each of their people taking turned stabbing and cutting him, I heard Raven say "This would have been Finn."

She finally understood why I did what I did.

We were sitting around a fire that night when Raven finally picked something up on her radio. Monty somehow was able to get a recording broadcast to us that was playing on loop. They were still alive but I wasn't sure for how much longer. I now knew what we had to do, we needed an inside man, we wouldn't be able to get them out if they still had their defenses intact. Bellamy had been right before.

"First we need an inside man. You were right, without someone on the inside to lower their defenses, turn off the acid fog an army is useless. You should go." I looked Bellamy straight in the eyes and let him know what I had decided.

"I thought you hated that plan, that I would get myself killed." Bellamy responded, not knowing where my change of heart came from.

"I was being weak. It's worth the risk." It sounded cold but I knew it had to be done.

I learned something watching Lexa today, they have to be the way they are to survive. If we want to survive as well we will need to act the same.

I saw Finn one last time, now I knew how to get rid of him. I walked slowly to him and told him. "Love is weakness."


	14. Chapter 14

_Thanks Heidi.. I completely agree, that line is actually one of my favs as well._

 _Also want to thank anyone else who may be following this, ily all even if you dont leave a review :)_

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Chapter 14

 **Murphy**

They decided it would be a good idea for us to train with the grounders. Well it wouldn't be that bad if half these people weren't the ones that were left standing at Finn's massacre. I couldn't help but see the way they stared at me.

One of the grounders came to me and started saying something but since I obviously didn't speak grounder I had no idea what he was saying. I was trying to explain that to him when he smacked the cup from my hand. I would not let one of them touch me, so of course I attempted to attack.

Then Kane told me to apologize to him. What the hell? I tried to explain that he was the one who came at me first but he didn't care, told me he was going to give me 2 day work detail. I was not going to stay around here for this, I attempted to walk past the grounder but he said "you're going to burn just like your friend."

So I did the only thing I could, I turned around and punched him.

Of course after everything was said and done, he actually gave me work detail. What the hell is this place becoming where the grounders are being treated better than we are? I know I've fucked up in my past but I've been trying to get past it. How the hell can I get past it, if no one is letting me?

I was sweeping when Jaha snuck up behind me and started getting in my business. "I take it you don't approve?"

When I didn't respond he said "I asked you a question."

"Who cares what I think?" I finally replied.

"I do." He walked into the room "or I wouldn't have asked."

"I think the grounders can go to hell." I told him honestly.

"I got you off work detail." He told me but didn't elaborate.

Which made me ask "why?"

"You knew my son, I'd like for you to take me to his grave. Now that there's a truce, it's safe for me to go and say goodbye." He wouldn't be asking this from me if he knew I had tried to kill his son.

"Then you can get someone else to take you." I didn't want to do this.

"I'm told the graves are unmarked, you can show me which is his." He wouldn't stop.

"You can hold the mop." He pulled a gun out "Or you can hold the gun."

He knew I wouldn't be able to turn down having a gun.

Jaha kept trying to make small talk on our way to the dropship but I didn't have anything to say to him. It wasn't until he called me son that I finally let him have it. "Don't call me that, I'm no one's son. You made sure of that."

"I remember your father." He attempted to say.

"Yea right."

"Alex Murphy. Convicted of theft of ration medicine. He stole it to take care of you." He paused "I remember them all."

We made it to the dropship just in time. I didn't want to talk about this anymore.

Night was falling and Jaha was still kneeling over his son's grave. I didn't even try to be compassionate. We needed to go, we had to get back.

"How well did you know him?" Jaha asked me.

"Well enough to be hung for his murder. Clarke sugarcoated it for you, didn't she?" I figured it was about time he knew the truth.

"What happened to my son?" He started standing.

"12 year old girl stabbed him in the neck with a knife she took from me." I told him.

"Why would she do that?" He asked not understanding.

"She couldn't kill you." I paused letting him take it all in "Yea, see you have a lot of blood on your hands chancellor. Every single one of them, including your son would still be alive if you wouldn't have sent us down here."

"If I wouldn't have sent you, they would have died on the Ark with the rest of us. And we would have never known Earth was survivable. Their sacrifice is why we are here. Good can come out of even the darkest acts, John." He had no idea what I've done since we've been here but I couldn't help but think that speech was for me as well as himself.

Jaha wouldn't leave so we went and rested in the dropship and I realized when he started talking again that he was planning on leaving camp. He wanted to go to this City of Light place and was trying to get followers. He was pretty sure that he would find it, even though he had no idea if the place was even real.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to people talking outside the dropship. I went into defense mode at first but then I saw Jaha. I asked him what was going on and he informed me that they were going to find the City of Light. He was ridiculous, they would all die. In his mind he figured if it was his time then it was his time. They didn't want to stay at the camp anymore, it didn't feel like home.

I agreed that it didn't feel like home, they punished us for shit the grounders did. It took me a minute to decide but eventually I did decide and that was to follow Jaha. The only downfall to leaving camp was Clarke.

Hell what was I saying she just took off and didn't even think to invite me along. But Bellamy and Raven was included. I needed to do this for myself, I needed to become my own man and not always think about if she would approve.

I gave a silent, _may we meet again_ , before I walked away from the dropship. This was my way of walking away from it all, the remaining Sky people, the grounders, and Clarke.

 **Clarke**

Even though I hoped the alliance would go smoothly, I knew it never would. The grounders didn't even pretend to like me, they spoke out to me right in front of their commander. They really didn't give a damn. I hadn't expected Quint to follow me outside but he did and then he tried to kill me.

Dammit this is never going to work.

I had Major Byrne with me to keep me safe and when I saw her arm torn off, I thought it was because of Quint. Was I ever wrong? When I saw the gorilla I was amazed and scared as hell all in one. Gorillas weren't supposed to of survived. It was amazing to actually get to see one but since it was obviously vicious as hell, it was scary.

I could have let Lexa die and she couldn't understand why I didn't. Yet again she called me weak. What she needed to know is I saved her because I needed her not because I didn't want her to die. Didn't she understand if she was dead then the alliance would break?

After we finally trapped the gorilla and escaped it finally came to me, we had been going at it all wrong. We didn't need to get inside, we already had an army on the inside we just needed to get someone in there to let them out. Finally I knew how we were going to do this, we could defeat Mount Weather.

We were on our way back to camp when the mountain men attacked us, shooting one of the grounders escorting us home. I made it to them just before Octavia killed the remaining one, I stopped her just before she killed him. We needed him, he could give us insight on the mountain.

We found out that I was actually the target, it made me see that I had to be more careful. Because of what Lexa and I were doing, it wouldn't only be her that would be in danger but me as well.

Once we made it back I had a few free minutes and I knew exactly what I wanted to be doing. Or should I say who. I know things got weird between us last time but I wouldn't allow that to happen again. I won't lose the only thing that's simple and easy in my life. I can't say exactly what Murphy means to me but I know I enjoy having him in my life.

After searching a little I was starting to get somewhat pissed, was he seriously avoiding me? Finally I just asked and the answer I received was not what I expected.

Murphy left… He fucking left… He left me…

I know we were nothing to each other except an occasional fuck but after what happened last time I really wouldn't have expected this. I knew the kiss meant something. I wasn't no expert on kissing or anything but there was no way in hell that it hadn't meant something. I know I freaked out afterwards but what did he expect? I had just killed Finn, obviously I wasn't ready for anything more than what we had been.

I will not let this get to me. I won't let him leaving affect me. If he cared so little for me that he would just leave without a second thought about me they why the hell do I care?

I couldn't think about Murphy anymore. I needed to get back to the mission.

When my mom informed us that the mountain man that we brought back with us, Emerson had genetic markers from the sky people I knew it had started. They had started bleeding my friends.

I wanted him dead. I wanted to cause him his death but she wouldn't allow it. She made sure she let me know that I wasn't in charge, she was.

The interaction with my mom just made me feel worse about everything. I didn't know what to do anymore, what was my responsibilities? Since we made it to the ground all I've known is leading.

I went back to Raven, to let her known that we were too late.

"We're too late, they're already bleeding them." I stopped "It's over."

"No." She shouted "You don't get to give up Clarke, you killed Finn and I didn't give up. I'm building a damn tone generator, do your job."

"What is my job?" I yelled.

"I don't know, to come up with something." She responded.

"I have tried…" But I never got to finish because I heard Bellamy's voice.

Oh my God. Bellamy made it. He's inside Mount Weather.

Maybe our luck is changing.

The 47 are all still alive.

Finally I knew what we had to do, we needed them to be watching the outside so they don't catch on to what Bellamy is doing on the inside. I rounded up Octavia and the grounders and we got Emerson. I knew my mom was going to try and stop me but I didn't care, she wouldn't be able to.

We were almost to the gate when she tried to order us to take the prisoner back, after refusing her plan was to have the guards get him. But that wouldn't happen either, the grounders wouldn't let that happen. I told my mom "you may the chancellor but I'm in charge."

I couldn't believe it when Marcus actually agreed with me. "The grounders trust Clarke, maybe we should to."

It took my mom a few moments but she agreed as well and told her guards to stand down.

We moved past them once we were standing outside the gate, I began speaking to Emerson. "I have a message for your leader, were coming for him. You're watching us but you haven't seen a thing. The grounder army is bigger than you think. Even if you could find it, your acid fog can't hurt them. And now thanks to you, neither can the reapers. So you have one last chance, let our people go and we'll let you live, it's just that simple."

Emerson nodded "I got it."

I released some of his air, telling him to make the 8 hours walk in 6. And he better do it.


	15. Chapter 15

_I want to say a quick thank you to anyone who is still invested in this story. I hope you are all enjoying it not just Heidi :)_

 _Well I'm going to have to find somewhere to watch season 3 while I'm writing since I'm close to the end of season 2. I was hoping with the new deal that CW has with Netflix that it would be up soon but apparently its for DVD only. Boo._

 _Well here's the next chapter. Enjoy!_

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Chapter 15

 **Clarke**

Bellamy was late checking in and I was a little on edge about it. It seemed like nothing was going right.

Raven had only been able to replicate 2 of the tone generators, she couldn't work on anything to do with the acid fog until Bellamy was able to get eyes on their dispersal system, so the only thing she could focus on right now was the dam.

I was supposed to be on my way to TonDC but what was I gonna tell them, oh well were not ready.

Once Bellamy finally checked in. Yes I yelled at him just a little for being late. I found out that our people were in trouble. They had started taking them every couple hours one by one.

I now knew that I couldn't leave yet, so I went to Marcus and asked him to go in my place. That I'll meet them up there, I had to figure this out.

Bellamy was able to get a walkie hooked up so he could go mobile. Raven needed to be able to talk to him while he was in the vents so together they could locate the lab and find where they were taking our friends.

Things ended up being a lot worse than we had originally thought. They had killed at least one of our people now but that wasn't the worst thing we learned.

They knew about the meeting in TonDC. They were planning on attacking. But no not just a regular attack that we would be able to win. They were going to shoot a fucking missile and take everyone out.

FUCK…

We were screwed.

The only option I had was to go there and to leave now. I had to warn them I had to keep them safe.

It took me by surprise when Raven pulled me to her into a hug. "Don't get blown up ok."

I was going to try my damnedest to do exactly that.

I made it to TonDC as fast as I could and went straight to the commander to warn her. I had not expected her answer.

She wanted us to allow them to bomb us anyway. To kill so many innocents. I got it that it would tip them off but how can she so calmly make a decision like that?

I fought and fought with her trying to make her see how wrong it was but it didn't matter. Lexa's mind was made up and I would follow her.

Even though I had followed her didn't mean I agreed with the decision, I just needed to find a way to warn them without the mountain men getting suspicious. I was trying to explain this to Lexa when I saw her. My mom.

What the hell was she doing there?

She was supposed to be back at camp, not here.

I ran to her, she tried to fight me on it but I got her to the woods. When we saw the missile she knew that I had knew about it, there was no way around her knowing.

I wasn't expecting the way she looked at me, the disappointment on his face, and the anger in her voice. The things she said to me was things I never thought I'd hear my mother say to me. They were true, I wasn't stupid, I knew I shouldn't have let this happen. I know I'll probably never make it past this but what is done is done.

I know their blood is on my hands.

As I watched everything burn, one thought kept going through my head.

We've all made mistake since we made it to the ground, some more than others but this is new to us all. We were all criminals for some reason or other on the Ark and of course those criminal tendencies would come with us even though our slate was wiped clean.

I felt guilty for the way I treated Finn after the massacre, I know I did eventually forgive him but that wasn't the point. I should have listened to him from the beginning.

Then there was the one person who I should have never taken advantage of, Murphy. I used him for my own personal gain from the first time I went to him in the woods. Then treated him like trash when he came back to camp. At the time all I could think about was not wanting to disappoint the rest of the 100, I should have never said the things I did.

I know what I did here would be judged by everyone, except him. He is the only person who wouldn't look at me differently, he is the only person who wouldn't judge me.

I knew what I was going to do, as soon as this was over and we had the rest of our people out of Mount Weather. I was going to go after him. I had no idea how I would find him but I was going to try.

 **Murphy**

Walking through the dead zone was probably one of the most horrible things I've ever had to do. It was so hot and so sandy. On more than one occasion I really thought that it would have been better to stay at camp Jaha then to come along with the real Jaha.

I kept face though, I knew out here I was pretty much Jaha's second.

It was awhile before we ever came across anybody, when we finally did it was only one lone grounder. A wastelander. She told us that she and her brother were trying to make it to the City of Light when they were attacked by wastelanders and they took all their supplies and killed her brother.

Jaha offered her some water. The others weren't happy since we barley had enough for ourselves. But fuck them, she needs help so were going to do just that, help her.

When Emori starts spouting off about how everyone is the dead zone is looking for the city of light but she could help us get there, I knew something was off. If this girl knew how to get there then why wasn't she there already? Why was she sticking around the dead zone?

Jaha seemed to trust her immediately and even offered us all up to pull her cart.

I couldn't help but look at her in awe, she had seriously just got a bunch of men to do her bidding for her. I wasn't sure what her game was but I was going to find out.

I don't know what it was about her but I was intrigued. I wanted to know about her. About why she left home and was out here trying to find this place that probably didn't even exist. When she told me she hadn't left by choice, it just made me even more curious. So this girl was kicked out of her home, hmm sounds familiar.

She asked about why we were out in the dead zone and even though I really didn't want to share these details with someone I didn't know, I hoped if I shared my story she'd share hers.

When Emori stopped I thought it was because she saw me just like everyone else had but she surprised me.

She took off her makeshift glove to reveal a deformed hand. "My people saw me as a stain on the bloodline, something to erase."

"Then screw 'em. I wouldn't cover it up, I think it's pretty badass." There was no reason to cast out someone for something like that.

"Liar." She replied as she walked away from me.

I couldn't help but just stand there smiling watching her walk away. I didn't know what it was about her but she made me forget the bad shit. I couldn't help but compare her to a certain someone and realized that the two couldn't be more different than day and night.

Emori was the kind of person I was supposed to end up with not someone like Clarke.

Well I found out how much she was actually like me not much longer after our chat. It was all a setup so she could rob us.

How the hell had I not caught on to it before now? Oh I know I was to fucking worried about flirting with her trying to get the princess out of my head.

Dammit.

"What a surprise you're just like everyone else." I was so pissed, felt so betrayed.

She whispered "Due North" in my ear before she knocked me out.

She didn't actually say she was talking about the City of Light but I had this feeling in my gut that that's exactly what she meant.

By this time I think I was the only one who thought we may still make it, I wouldn't go back home, not now. I didn't know what this City of Light was but it had to be better than the camp.

We lost about half our people then but some did still continue with us.


	16. Chapter 16

_Heidi thank you once again for your review. It feels like its been forever since the last Clarke/Murphy moment lol but it will still be a little bit. I have a pretty good idea where I'm going to take this once I get into season 3. Right now I'm looking at I think 2 more chapters until season 2 is through but I'm thinking I will have a couple filler chapters before I get into season 3. Not completely sure yet, still working out the kinks lol._

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Chapter 16

 **Clarke**

I wanted to go to the people of TonDC, I wanted to help them. That's all I've wanted since being on the ground to help people. Now I'm the cause of them hurting, maybe not directly but I could have warned them.

If Lexa wouldn't have stopped me I would have went to them. Once again I allowed her to convince me that going to them would be bad not only for me but for them as well.

When I heard the shooting I knew how I could help them. I will kill the spotter.

Lexa and I were on route when we came across Lincoln. I was relieved when he told me Octavia made it. We worked together to get to the shooter. I distracted him and Lincoln went to take him out, what I hadn't counted on was that the tone generator would still affect him.

The shooter had Lincoln with a knife to his throat. Lincoln said "Just let him kill me, then take him out. Come on Clarke, your people need you."

I didn't even have to think twice about what I did next "you are my people."

I shot through Lincoln and to the mountain man's heart, killing him. I knew it would injure Lincoln but he would be ok.

He looked at me impressed "good shot."

The one thing I noticed about the sniper was he wasn't wearing a hazmat suit which meant that the bone marrow treatments had worked. That scared the shit out of me, if we didn't get there soon then we wouldn't have anyone to rescue.

Before leaving for the mountain I found my mom, I wanted to let her know where I was going. I knew they needed extra help here but I couldn't wait and chance that they would all die in the mountain.

As I was walking away she grabbed my arm "I need you to do something for me. Don't forget that were the good guys."

I knew she was scared and rightfully so. But I had new direction, we were finishing this. I was going to save my friends, I would not let them kill anymore.

We set up right outside of line where the acid fog reaches. Now all we were waiting on was Bellamy to help us with getting the fog down.

We were so close but I couldn't help but feel something was going to go wrong. I kept going over and over our plan, trying to see if we have a backup if the original fails. Lexa told me not to worry that we were going to win but I couldn't help but worry.

Lexa was right about one thing though, she was born to be a leader. A leader for the grounders. Me not so much. Somehow I ended up excelling in leading my people but that was only because I had help from numerous sources.

I saw Octavia sitting. She seemed to be in deep thought.

"Is everything ok?" I asked her as I sat across from her.

"I've been going over it and over it in my head, just trying to figure out how you're still alive." She said accusingly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"I saw you in TonDC before the missile hit. I know you Clarke, something was wrong. Then you and Lexa disappear and just happen to survive." She paused "Tell me you didn't know it was coming."

I know how Lexa feels about people knowing but I could not lie to her. She had a right to know, I know she'll be pissed because she is more a grounder than a sky person now. I also needed her to know that the only reason I did it was to save Bellamy. I couldn't be the reason for his death as well.

Just as I suspected she didn't take it very well but she had every reason to judge me. I allowed innocence to die.

She seemed to understand that she couldn't tell anyone but Lexa wasn't convinced. I had a feeling that she wouldn't trust my judgement.

After seeing Indra still around camp I knew Lexa had lied that she wouldn't let me take care of my people. I reached the commanders man just as he was pulling the arrow back with Octavia in site.

"Don't" I told him as I pointed a gun at his head.

"I have my orders." He replied.

"I don't care. This is not happening." I didn't want to shoot him but I would.

When he lowered the bow I said "let's go."

When I walked into the commander's tent with the grounder she sent to kill Octavia I was livid. "You sent him to kill Octavia? I told you she's not a problem."

She looked at her warrior "leave us."

He got up trying to follow her orders but I stopped him "no I'm not letting him out of my sight."

She ordered him to stand down for the time being. She infuriated me. How can she be ok with just killing each and every person she doesn't trust? She informs me that she can and will kill anyone she does not trust.

I tell her that I won't let her and she says "you were willing to let her die two days ago, nothing has changed."

But it has, I have. "I can't do this anymore."

"Octavia is a threat, if you weren't so close to her you'd see that." She thinks so knows so much but in all reality she knows nothing.

"It's because I'm close to her that I know she's loyal. Her brother is more important to her than anyone. She would never endanger his life." This I knew for sure.

"And you're willing to risk everything on that? On your feelings?" I felt like she was belittling me.

"Yes" I said without having to even think twice about it "You say having feelings make me weak. But you're weak for hiding from them. I might be a hypocrite Lexa but you're a liar."

I held my own why I continued "you felt something for Gustus. You're still haunted by Costia. You want everyone to think you're above it all but I see right through you."

I had her backed into the wall when she finally said "get out."

"250 people died in that village. I know you felt for them. But you let them burn." I said harshly.

"Not everyone. Not you." I had not expected her response.

"Well then if you care about me. Then trust me. Octavia is not a threat" I had to get through to her.

She looked saddened when she said "I can't do that."

"I can't sacrifice my people anymore. If you do anything to hurt Octavia I'll tell everyone we knew about the missile." With that I turned and left, I needed her to know I was serious.

 **Murphy**

We had been walking for way to long. I didn't want to admit it but I was starting to think I was lied to. What did I expect though, she was a liar and a thief, so why would she be telling the truth then.

Harris wasn't helping anything, I was already pissed and he just kept on with cheesy ass jokes. I wished for him to stop, I didn't care how I just wanted him to shut the fuck up.

Boy did I get my wish, when I heard the click it didn't register what it was until I saw the explosion and Harris's body splattered into a million pieces. I was covered in his blood. Shit, I wanted him to shut up not fucking explode.

Then yet another one of our people moved when she was almost hit by Harris's arm and she hit another mine.

Jaha yelled at us "No one move, were in the middle of a mine field."

"Anyone else want a sign?" I couldn't help but joke. Hey, when you're about to die it's the best time to be making jokes right?

We sat and waited for light. If we were going to make it through this minefield we needed to be able to see. Things were just as bad when the first light came, with the sandstorm that hit overnight all tracks were gone, erased.

I heard Jaha say "Do you see that?"

When I turned and actually seen it, I couldn't believe it.

"The city of light." Jaha took the words right out of my mouth.

"Emori was telling the truth." I couldn't believe that she hadn't lied.

"We are so close." Jaha announced "Now you wanted a sign there it is. We have to push forward."

As much as I wanted to believe that I couldn't help but look around us and have no idea how we would get from where we were currently standing to where we need to be.

Jaha offered to lead the way through the minefield and we didn't complain. If anyone was to get blown up best be him first. It was going so slow… I knew that it had to be that way to make sure we made it across but I still could complain.

Richards was getting so squirmy behind me I tried to lighten the mood but it didn't seem to work he still screamed out "I can't take this its right there." And made a run for it.

Thankfully or not, not really sure which I think right about now, but Jaha was able to grab ahold of him right before he hit a mine.

It took a little bit of time for everyone to get their shit back together but finally Jaha started walking. Attempting once again to make it past this minefield. When he finally made to the sign and when Jaha looked at it and began to smile, I had to see what it said.

The sign read, Warning Mines.

We made it to the other side of the minefield. About damn time.

"Another test passed." Jaha commented. Him and his damn tests.

We ran. All of us including Jaha. All wanting to get over the sand dune to see what this city of light actually was. When I reached the top I said "are you kidding me. This is it? This is what we crossed a desert to find?"

"It can't be." Obviously Jaha wasn't too happy.

"Well guess what, your enlightened society, it's not a city. It's nothing." Jaha wasn't the only one taking this hard, I left behind everything for this. I left the security of a roof over my head and food in my stomach for this. I left Clarke for this. For nothing.

"I flew down from space. I defied death. It was all for a reason. It has to be." I watched Jaha and thought that he may just loose his shit.

We continued our walk and when we reached the solar panel field that we thought was the city of light I was so pissed that I grabbed a rock and threw it at one of the panels, shattering it. To our surprise the solar panel field wasn't the only thing there. It seemed like when I threw the rock it woke up a drone and after it flew in front of us, it took off. Almost like it was taking a picture or video, something like that.

"Don't lose sight of it." Jaha ordered as he began to follow it.

It led us to a huge body of water with a boat just sitting there almost like it was waiting on us.

Of course I was skeptical but once again Jaha went on about this and that and because honestly I didn't want to hear it anymore I followed him. Hell we came this far what would be the point in going back now, I tell the other two to follow Jaha in the boat and I pushed us off shore. Here goes nothing.


	17. Chapter 17

_I am sooo sorry about the delay in updating, my kids started school today so the last few weeks have been busy with getting them ready but now that I won't have a house full of kids all day long it gives me more time to write :) I have this chapter and another that I'll be posting today which will be the last of season 2. I'm still trying to find ways to watch season 3 since I have no idea when it will finally be on Netflix.  
_

 _And thank you Heidi like always your great, I love reading your reviews.. And thanks to my new favs/follows hope each and every one of you that is reading is enjoying!_

 _Also this will be a Clarke only chapter._

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Chapter 17

 **Clarke**

I couldn't help but feel a little aggravated when one of the grounders came to me and said the commander wanted to speak to me. Hadn't we spoke enough? But of course I wouldn't go again the commander if she called, I had to go.

What I hadn't expected was what she told me once I entered her tent. She said Octavia had nothing to fear from her and that she did trust me. I understood our ways were different but if this alliance was going to work, we were both going to have to give a little.

I knew she said she cared for me but I hadn't expected her to kiss me. It took me by complete surprise but I stopped it as soon as it happened. I hoped this didn't change things.

"I'm sorry but I can't." I backed up slightly "it wouldn't be fair to you, my heart already belongs to another."

Lexa looked at me "I don't understand, Finn is gone."

I sighed "I wasn't talking about Finn."

This was the first time I had shared this with anyone.

"You love another?" She asked me obviously still not getting it.

"No I don't love him but I do care for him greatly. My plan is to go after him once this is finished and we save our people." I can't believe I had actually shared that with her.

Lexa didn't respond she just stared at me intently.

"I apologize if I led you on in anyway. This is a very recent realization for me." I had to make sure that she knew I wouldn't do anything like that intentionally.

"You did no such thing. I shouldn't have assumed." She placed her hand on my shoulder "Do you mind if I ask what you mean by you plan to go after him? I assume he is a sky person like yourself? So where is he?"

"Honestly I don't know." I couldn't help but show the sadness I felt. "Apparently he went with a group of our people to try and find what you guys call the city of light."

She gave a knowing look "well I can at least send you in the right direction."

I wasn't sure why but her offering to help really made me excited so I threw my arms around her before I really thought about what I was doing. I pulled back before it could be taken as anything other than a friendly thank you gesture. "You have no idea what that means to me. I honestly had no idea how I'd find Murphy myself."

She smiled softly.

Then we heard everyone outside of the tent getting excited. _The signal. The signal._

As we walked out of the tent I saw the flare. "Bellamy did it."

"You were right to have faith in him."

Damn right I was.

"Now we fight." Lexa said as vicious as ever.

They sounded the horn so everyone knew it was the beginning of war.

Lexa and I called a meeting to brief both sides on exactly what was going to happen. We needed them to know this was a rescue mission and not everyone had to be killed. I knew my people would understand this a lot better than the grounders but I hoped with the orders coming from both Lexa and I that they would follow as well.

The commander let me lay out the plan to everyone. We had 4 teams and for this to work each team would have to do exactly what they were supposed to, each and every one of us would have to work together. If one team failed we all failed.

The biggest catch was we only had 1 minute from the time Raven cut the power until the backup generator kicked in. So we had just 60 seconds to get the door open.

It was taking to long for Raven to get the power cut off, I was starting to freak out a little. When we started hearing gunshots by the dam I knew they knew about our plan to cut the power. All I could think about was we were going to fail, if Raven can't do it then we have no hope.

Finally I saw it, the lights went out. She did it, she cut the power. Everything finally seemed to be falling in place. At least it seemed that way until we went to press the button and the damn door didn't open. They found a way to jam the signal.

Dammit…

I had to get closer. It was the only way. Just as I was about to do just that, we started getting fired at. We found a way to make a blockade of sorts and Miller's dad took the button. He wanted to be the one to make the door fall.

I watched as one by one the people protecting him started falling. We were down to 10 seconds and they were down, we had no hope left.

"We will find another way." Lexa tried to sound hopeful.

Lincoln was standing beside me with a bow and arrow and replied to Lexa telling her we didn't need to find another way in. He shot a bow of fire and with just mere seconds remaining he hit it, the door unlocked.

Lincoln was about to go after the gunners but Lexa ordered him to stay with me and get the door the rest of the way open. She ordered some of her warriors with her to stop the gunmen.

It became quiet and I knew it meant Lexa had did it. So I ordered them to start on the door. The rope was tied, our gunmen were ready, the door began to open when Lexa came walking through and told her people to stand down.

Emmerson was next to Lexa and I saw her people starting to walk out.

"Their surrendering?" I asked confused.

"Not quiet." Emerson said with a sick smile.

I looked back at Lexa "What did you do?"

"What you would have done" she said with no remorse "save my people."

"Where are my people?" I asked her in disbelief.

"I'm sorry Clarke." But she didn't look sorry. "They weren't part of the deal."

"You made the right choice commander." Emerson said as he walked away from us.

I looked at Lexa in disgust, she didn't have to side with the enemy for us to free our people. We could have done it together, her people would have been freed along with mine. She just wanted to take the easy way out.

Lincoln approached us "what is this?"

"Your commander has made a deal." I said with hatred.

"What about the prisoners from the Ark?" Lincoln didn't seem to understand.

"They'll all be killed." I looked straight at Lexa "but you don't care about that do you?"

"I do care Clarke, but I made this choice with my head not my heart. The duty to protect my people come first." She was all business.

"Please don't do this." I tried to plead with her.

"I'm sorry Clarke." But she couldn't have been that sorry if she could take the coward's way out.

"Commander not like this, let us fight." Lincoln also tried to get Lexa to do the right thing.

"No. The deal is done."

The door shut and she called for the horn to be blown. To let the rest of the grounders know that their commander is nothing but a betraying coward.

Lexa turned to Lincoln "you to. All our people withdraw, that's the terms."

"They'll be slaughtered. Let me help them." He pleaded.

She ordered her people to take him, since he obviously didn't want to go himself. Lincoln started fighting. I watched in horror as they overtook him and then took him away.

Lexa looked at me and said "may we meet again."

I couldn't say anything but all I could think was I sure hope not. I did not want to see her again.

I stood there and watched as they all walked away. Watching everything we had worked so hard on fall apart.

What hurt even more than watching the grounders walk away, was watching my own people walk away. I knew we had no plan now but the thought of leaving when we were so close made me feel sick to my stomach.

I heard David Miller say "Clarke, let's go. We'll come back with reinforcements."

"Clarke. Clarke, come on." I turned around to face Monroe "It's over I'm sorry."

She put her head down turned and left.

I turned back around to face the door of the mountain. I felt like it was mocking me. "It can't be over."

* * *

 _Ooook if you can't tell from this chapter I'm not a Lexa fan. I mean I get it she did it for her people but in my opinion she took the cowards way out so that's how I made Clarke feel about it. It may have took a little more fighting but they would have gotten all of their people out of there._

 _Sooo I still haven't made my mind up about how I'll go through season 3 with the whole Clarke and Lexa thing but this story will not follow them getting together. So there will be no Clexa in this story._


	18. Chapter 18

_Alright this chapter will be the end of season 2. It may take me a little bit of time to get season 3 to write more but I'm already thinking I will end this sometime during season 3 in the series. I'm not sure exactly yet but working on some ideas._

 _Enjoy!_

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Chapter 18

 **Murphy**

It seemed like we had been in this damn boat for far too long. Everyone was testy we were all thinking the same thing but it was Craig who finally said it.

He threw the oar down and told Jaha if he wasn't going to sleep then he could row.

"Get back on that oar, Craig." He ordered.

"Or what?" He asked "we don't even know if were going in the right direction anymore. We followed that drone across the open ocean. Hell we deserve to die out here."

Finally I decided it was my time to step in "It's ok. It's ok. I'm good to go. I can row"

Richards said like he wasn't really sure "Land?" He pointed straight ahead and said "land" again.

I turned and couldn't believe it, there was land.

"How does an island of light sound to you John?" Jaha screamed in excitement.

Just as excitement filled us all it was all taken away when something struck our boat. One of the oars fell out and Jaha screamed at Richards to get it. As he reached for it, it hit again, knocking him out of the boat. Richards was scared out of his mind, fighting to stay alive and all Jaha could think about was the damn oar.

Whatever the hell the thing was in the water grabbed ahold of Richards and pulled him away. All you could see was his blood that now stained the water.

Jaha was trying to bandage me up since that stupid creature in the water took a piece of my arm with it and kept telling Craig to row. Craig was so freaked out he just kept watching as it hit the boat time and time again. I never would have guessed what would have happened next, Jaha threw Craig in the water. He seriously picked him up and threw him to the creature, I understood he didn't want to die but to choose to kill one of us to save the other two just wasn't something I thought was the right call.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled at him as I finally freed myself from his grasp. When he didn't answer I asked "why?"

"So we could live." He said like there was no other way. "And because you can row."

When we finally reached land Jaha wanted to help me out of the boat but I didn't want him to touch me. I was glad I was alive but at the cost of another I wasn't very happy about it and I wanted to make sure Jaha knew that.

"You know your right. I am a survivor." I finally got myself out of the boat I stood and looked at Jaha "That is exactly why I'm done following you. I'll go my own way. You can go whichever the hell way you want."

Just as I started walking away I fell to the ground.

"John. John." Jaha rushed to my side.

"Get the hell away from me." I tried to push him away.

"You've lost too much blood. Stay still." He said sharply.

Just as I was doing just that, staying still. We heard it, the drone. It started taking off and Jaha was yelling at it saying we needed help. We both knew I couldn't make it and I knew he wanted more than anything to go after it. So I told him to go.

He actually seemed to hesitate a minute but then said "I'll come back for you John."

The only thing that went through my mind right there was, yea right I wouldn't hold my breath.

I couldn't help but be pissed "your promise land sucks."

I don't know when it happened but I ended up falling asleep and when I woke it was light and of course Jaha was nowhere to be found. I started walking and stepped on another solar panel so I started looking around. I found a door and could hear music behind it, feeling around I finally was able to get the door open. As I walked into the bunker type house I couldn't help but smile, I had never seen anything like it. "Promise land."

There was a pool table, tons of food and best of all liquor. This was the first time since leaving with Jaha that I actually felt good.

I sat in the chair and started messing with a remote and when it turned the TV on it caught my attention. The guy was sitting on the couch that was right behind me and was crying go on and on about how it was his fault and how sorry he was. It took me by complete surprise when he pulled a gun out and shot himself.

My first instinct was to turn around and look at the couch and that was the first time I realized that his blood still stained the couch.

I heard the door close and "containment door sealed."

I went straight to the door and realized I was locked inside this place, this house? I tried everything I could possibly think of to try and get out but had no luck. I was trapped, I don't know why I didn't expect something like this would happen. My life has only gotten worse since we landed on the ground, I may have thought for just a slight moment that things were looking up but once again that was ripped from me just like it always is.

I had never been one to give up but right now it's hard not to.

 **Clarke**

The rest of our people went back to camp but I couldn't I knew I couldn't walk away when we were so close. I ran through the tunnels hoping that Octavia had stayed.

When I saw her I felt relief. "Octavia you stayed."

She obviously wasn't happy to see me "screw you. Of course I stayed, I know where my loyalties lie"

I didn't have time to listen to her insult me "we have to get in there."

She grabbed ahold of my arm "if that was possible, do you think I'd still be out here?"

When I saw what she was referring to my heart dropped. Fox. Dead. She asked why Lexa called the retreat so I told her about the deal, I also told her Lincoln was forcefully taken.

At this point I just wanted through the door, it didn't matter how I got there. I was about to start shooting when Octavia grabbed my arm and asked "what's wrong with you?"

All I could tell her is that we needed to get in there. She once again insulted me for trusting Lexa, I already knew I made a mistake, I didn't need her telling me. When we heard the door start opening, we both went into attack mode but the moment we saw Bellamy, Monty and Jasper I once again felt relief, they weren't all dead.

I hoped that they had some kind of plan but they were just as plan less as we were. When we went to President Wallace's room I knew he wouldn't help us, it didn't matter that he had helped before. We took him to the control room and that's when we figured it out, it wasn't Cage's idea to make the deal with the grounders it was his. We should have figured that Cage wasn't smart enough to think of something like that.

Once Monty got the screens up I found Emerson and got him to take his radio to Cage. The only thing I could think of to save my people was to threaten his dad. When he didn't go for the trade I pulled the gun out and actually shot him. I didn't want to do that, I didn't want to kill anyone but I knew he needed to know I was serious.

"Listen to me very carefully. I will not stop until my people are free. If you do not let them go I will eradiate level 5." He needed to know I meant business.

I watched as he sent Emerson to kill us, they knew where we were now but I wasn't worried having Monty on our team we could deactivate his keycard easily. But I was more interested where Cage was going. He was on a mission and I needed to know what it was. When I saw him go back to our people and grab my mom that's when it hit me, this was once again my fault.

Our only option now was to eradicate the entire level. This isn't what I wanted but there was no other way now. I did nothing but just piss him off even more and because of that they would die quicker. I turned to Monty "figure it out."

It seemed like everything was once again starting to fall apart, Octavia and Maya were caught by a couple of stupid kids which put them right in the middle of a whole bunch of guards. Octavia was able to get two of them but there was too many and with guns. Emerson had just made it to us, he was pounding on the door. Then to make things worse we watched as a guard brought Jasper in. "They caught him."

Monty was still working on the system but then he just quit. "Why are you stopping?"

He looked back at me "because I did it. All we have to do is pull this." He said motioning to the lever.

I needed to think for just a minute. I needed to make sure this was the only left to do. But that was all interrupted when Bellamy yelled. "he's going to blow the door."

"Clarke we're out of time." Monty said freaking out.

I grabbed the lever.

Bellamy was watching the screen his sister was on "My sister. My responsibility."

"I have to save them." I told them.

Bellamy placed his hand on top of mine. We looked at each other and he said "together."

I nodded in agreement and we did it. We pulled the lever.

I watched as each and every one of them started dropping to the ground. Feeling a little piece of myself slip away with each one of their deaths. This was so much worse than what I had imagined it. It was so much worse than TonDC. There had been so many innocent there and now they were all dead because of me.

Finally I said "let's go get our people."

The moment we walked into the dining hall and I couldn't look away from the destruction that I caused. I knew I would never be able to get this horrific scene out of my head. As we started walking through I saw Jasper sitting with Maya.

"What did you do?" He cried.

"We had no choice." I told him.

"I was going to kill Cage. If you would have just given me one more minute, it would have been over." He said with hatred in his voice.

"Jasper they never would have stopped." Bellamy backed me up.

We left Jasper there to grieve and went to the dorm to get our people. The moment I saw my mom sitting up and still alive everything that I just had to do was pushed to the back. My mom was still alive.

When we separated, she just stared at me so I said "I tried. I tried to be the good guy."

"Maybe there are no good guys." She said barley more than a whisper.

It wasn't until Octavia came running in asking where Cage was that I realized he was able to get out. He was nowhere around.

We ran into Lincoln after leaving the mountain and he told us that he took care of Cage. I was happy that Lincoln was able to get some kind of revenge for what Cage put him through.

We were outside of Arkadia and I already decided I wasn't going inside. I knew that it would hurt the people I cared about but I couldn't look at these people every day, not after what I did.

Bellamy walked up next to me "I think we need a drink."

"Have one for me." I kept my voice steady.

"Hey we can get through this." He assured me.

I shook my head "I'm not going in."

"Clarke." Bellamy turned and looked at me "If you need forgiveness. I'll give that to you. You're forgiven."

I remembered when I told him the exact same thing. It made me rethink my decision for just a second. But not long enough.

"Please come inside." He pleaded with me.

"Take care of them for me." I finally turned and looked at him.

"Clarke." I think it was finally registering to him that I was actually leaving.

"Seeing their faces everyday will only remind me what I had to do to get them here." I told him.

"What we did." He reminded me that I wasn't the only one who did it. "You don't have to do this alone."

I turned and looked at my people. At our people. "I bear it so they don't have to."

He asked where I was planning to go but I told him I had no idea. My plan was to go find the city of lights but I didn't want to tell anyone that or they'd send people after me. I wanted them to stay here and safe.

I hugged him and said "may we meet again."

I walked away without looking back. I didn't want to see what all I would be leaving.

I knew in my heart I wanted/needed to find Murphy but I couldn't help but feel in my soul that leaving here would be so much harder than I originally thought.

* * *

 _Welp I hope you all enjoyed! Poor Murphy stuck in that bunker/house place about to go completely mad and Clarke walking away from Arkadia in hopes to find Murphy._


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